Mom is in assisted living costing $4000 a month. Her savings & mine has run out. Our home is paid off & I want to get a line of credit to continue paying for her care. But only she is on the Home's Title & they say I need to be on the Title to get the loan. Her Lawyer tells me she cannot put me on the Title with Mom having Alzheimer's & being considered incapacitated. What do I do? I live in & take care of the home. It doesn't seem right. What is the "Legal" way to put me on the title with her being incapacitated having Alzheimer's?? Please Help!! I am sure someone else out there has had the same issues. What did they do??

Thank you for any Help. Sylvia

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Its time to try for Medicaid. Mom will eventually go beyond what an AL can do for her anyway. Nothing you can do about getting house in your name. Medicaid wouldn't have allowed it anyway within the five year look back.

Set up an appointment. Have all Moms financial information. That goes for insurance policies, stocks, shares, bonds. Any prepaid funeral trusts or insurance. Explain that you have been living in the house and keeping it up. I had my disabled nephew living in Moms. But I also had the house up for sale to help pay for her care in an AL.

I really don't think putting yourself in further debt is a good idea.
Helpful Answer (20)

Er - do you mean that you have spent your own savings on your mother's assisted living fees?

And meanwhile, you are living in her house, to which you have no title, and you are paying for its upkeep - taxes, utilities, maintenance?

You cannot afford to subsidise your mother, to put it bluntly. Even if you felt it was morally right to do so, you don't have the money and you need to eat.

You must get legal advice to guide you through all the steps, but roughly what you should aim to do is sell the house and reclaim the money you paid towards your mother's ALF fees from the proceeds. Will that give you enough to make a fresh start?
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Talk to the assisted living home's social worker as to what to do next.

Go to the senior center in your town and ask to speak to an elder law attorney. Sometimes they work for free or very low cost.

I'm sure she can get Medicaid (Medi-Cal in California) if she has no other assets other than the house.

A "loan" for Mom's ongoing care is NOT the answer and she may outlive the loan. Then what?
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worriedinCali Feb 2019
medi-cal may not pay for assisted living. There is a waiver but in order to be eligible, you have to qualify for medi-cal with no share of cost.
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Medicare is health insurance. It will not pay for custodial care which is what she's receiving in the AL. The only thing outside of long term care insurance that will pay for custodial care is Medicaid. While you are applying for Mom's Medicaid, which can be a long and drawn-out process, you should also check with her current AL and find out if they can guarantee her a Medicaid position when she's approved. Although many facilities have a limited # of Medicaid "beds", it does not guarantee that one of those beds will be available when Mom's Medicaid is approved.
Medicaid applications vary from state to state but in any event be prepared for at least a 3 year look-back which means you will have to get bank statements, copies of checks, copies of deposit slips, birth certificates death, marriage certificates, etc. In the state of New Jersey it is a five-year look-back. If you do not have power of attorney or are not on your Mom's banking accounts, you will certainly need an attorney to deal with the bank to obtain the necessary documents.
You should speak to an elder care attorney for legal advice; make sure they are certified. You should NOT, in my opinion and I have been an admissions director in long-term care for over 10 years, apply for a loan and jeopardize your own Financial assets and Future. Just my 2 cents worth.
Helpful Answer (15)
jacobsonbob Feb 2019
I believe your perspective from your >10 years experience in your line of work makes your opinion worth a lot more than the proverbial 2 cents!
Once your mom has been declared incapacitated she can no longer sign legal documents. I am sure there are people here who can help you more than I can. However, I am sure they will tell you that you can not legally put your name on the house.

Perhaps there is another way of looking at this bad situation. You posted that you are taking care of the house. Can you afford the house? Are you paying the bills yourself? You also posted that mom is running out of money! You will probably have to file for Medicaid to help pay for mom's care. But before you do see an Elderly Lawyer who will know all the Medcaid rules. If you want to keep the house ask the lawyer if you can get a waiver or a exemption so that Medicaid won't take the house or put a lien on it.

If I may suggest that it may not be a good idea to take a loan out on the house to pay for mom's care. I realize you are in a difficult situation, and I am sure you want mom to have great care, but you need to be aware of what the aftermath will be. You could get stuck paying that loan off or worst yet, need Medicaid and your decision about putting a loan on the house made it where mom is disqualifie. Look at all your options and think about how this is going to affect you after mom is gone?!

I live with my mother and I take care of her and the house. I know she will need Medicaid. But I also know that I have to think about my future. Because my mother did not put my name on her house in 2014 I will have to file an exemption to keep the roof over my head!

Just my 2 cents.
I am sorry that you are in this horrible and difficult situation.

Someone here will help you. Good Luck!
Helpful Answer (10)

Taking care of the house is very different then being a live in caregiver to the homeowner. You will not get an exemption for Medicaid because you are living there while she is in assisted living. Do you pay her rent for the use of her house?

You can always buy the house from your mom, offering her a lifetime home, (I suggest that because of the fear elders have of being homeless) and then you can get a loan to buy it and use that money to pay for moms care. This would ensure you get to keep the house. It must be purchased at full market value, I would check with your state to find out exactly how they interpret that.

Problem solved.
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surprise Feb 2019
I don't feel children should ever endanger their financial future to care for a parent. If they can pay through their cash flow, that's fine, but if they need a loan, the answer is Medicare.
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I agree that getting a loan at this point doesn't seem like the way to go. What's the point? I think you should pursue medicaid. The home is an exempt asset. The problem is that there has to be a medical need. AL seems to be a hurdle to medical need. She needs to qualify for a NH.

The problem is that medicaid may attempt recovery after your mom dies from the estate. Which is the house. So you need to take steps to prevent that from happening. That you should see a competent elder law attorney about. It could be as simple as executing a transfer on death deed.

As for what her lawyer told you about her being incapacitated, I would question him more about that. She can think she's living on the moon, but as long as she's clear about wanting you on the title. She's competent enough to put you on the title. Someone only needs to be clear about the one issue they are executing. That's the way I understand it.

As usual, this is just the ramblings of someone that doesn't have a clue about anything.
Helpful Answer (8)
SusanNeedsHelp Feb 2019
If she isn't residing in the home, I wouldn't think it would be an exempt asset.
I think you may have to obtain legal guardianship, as a result of her being incapacitate. This way you are able to handle her affairs however not sure if you are able to change or add your name to title, (ask the lawyer) but you may be able to refinance as a court appointed guardian.
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Too many possibilities, you need to speak to an attorney
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You must speak to an elder care attorney as soon as possible. My mother had Altzheimer's and needed care in an assisted living center for close to five years, also at $4000.00 a month. You have to have proper legal documents as her Power of Attorney if she has been declared mentally incompetent. If you do not have this, speak to an attorney and also talk with the administrator of her facility. You cannot pay for her care, it will ruin your finances for the rest of your life. Also talk to the Alzheimer's Association. They were extremely helpful every time I called. The more people you talk to the better informed you will be. I also want to suggest to join an Alzheimer's support group. Everybody in the group supports and encourages each other and they have LOTS of answers. Don't go through this journey alone. Both my Mom & my Material grandmother had the disease, and take it from me, you need support as well.
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