My Mom has a home where she lived for 50+ years. She has been living with me in Florida for the last 6 years, but she now needs more care than I can give her. My work schedule would leave her home alone for 10+ hours a day.
I have been trying to get my sister to make the house clean and safe for our Mother to come home to. My sister works better hours for our Mom and comes home for lunch everyday. So Mom would only be alone a few hours at a time. She would also have all my grandchildren to visit with and keep her busy. Where here, she lays on the couch all day.
My sister is not willing to allow cleaning of MOM'S house. She is being a very hard person to deal with. Mom is ok with going back to her house. She really wants to see the Grandkids. My daughter is there and can take her to her house a few days a week. It's the perfect solution for my Mom's care, but my sister is being a jerk. HELP!!!


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Sometimes there is no good answer. We cannot make people do more than they are willing to do for another. I have similar problems getting other family members to help; however, I contacted my local Medicaid office and got my mother placed on the elderly waiver. This allowed me to stay home and take care of mother and get paid a nominal amount each month so I didn't starve to death. :) We bought a house across the street from us so she could be nearby, and when she became unable to be by herself any longer I moved into her back room to be on hand 24/7. Is it ideal? NO. Is it doable? YES. My husband has moments of understanding and moments of downright grumpiness over the situation, but it is what it is... :)
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We had the same situation. Sister refuses anyone to come in to help...she can do it all and in her own good time (which is never). My Mother's home has never looked like this and it breaks my heart. I offer to hire cleaners but NO and Mother doesn't want to upset the little hoarder by making too much of a fuss. I have no idea what all this junk is in boxes and bags. Our Mother was never one to keep things...while my sister can't stand to throw anything away.

Mother is back in her own home, living with my sister and I guess until there is just a path between the recliner and the bed, things will stay as they are. Makes me itch to be there and I know it is upsetting to Mom. There use to be big arguments from Mom before she got sick about the "stuff"; but nothing ever got resolved or thrown out.

So I guess my answer to you is you probably can't do anything. Maybe send sis on vacation and get the work done while she is gone.

Good luck!
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