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Whatever the case, IMHO you need to get:
- Durable Power of Attorney (a Financial Power of Attorney)
- Medical Power of Attorney
- Living Will &/or Advance Directives - the AD forms hospitals have
- Declaration of Guardian in Event of Incapacity
- HIPAA Waiver - doctors offices and hospitals have this form
Also if they don't have a will, or need to to a codicil to the will to update any changes, then get that done too.
I'm a firm believer in having an elder care attorney take care of all this. It will not be expensive as most of this is done by the paralegals. You do want to go in prepared with what the information is for the documents (e.g. the residence located at 123 ABC street, aka parcel #5678; Ann Smith, wife of John Smith, with the info on all the births) as well as valid ID for the elder. If you have the stuff together & it is all simple, straightforward paperwork, it should take 1 hr for the intake and then 1 hr a couple of days later for the signatures to be done and run about 300-500.
If you think there is ANY PROBABILITY of family challenging for control of mom's life, money, assets while she is alive OR her estate when she dies, then you really should have an attorney do it.
If mom has assets, then all this should be paid from her assets. This also is important if you get challenged. If you pay for all, and you benefit, then it could be viewed as a coerced document. I've been executrix a couple of times and from those experiences know that it can get pretty ugly if the legal documents are not done correctly. Good Luck.