I understand everyone suffering from this dreaded disease called Alzheimer's is different but we all seem to be headed in the same direction. But I/we are trying to prepare for the future. I have so many ideas, but I don't know if they would be feasible.

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Lost, therapy, emotional and physical only works if you want it to. I don’t think you want it to. I am convinced that antidepressants only work if taken in conjunction with therapy. Like the actual therapy, the pills are a tool and you have to know how to use the tool. Is there absolutely no one who could take you for your therapy? Sure your family was angry! You were finally going to get help for yourself and then you backed out!

And, if grandma was running around airing out her altogether, well, too bad. We keep saying she has a whole family to care for her. Or she should have. Not your fault if you are out getting help for yourself.
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Lost, your Answer function isn't enabled, so I would have to search for previous answer to previous threads. But relying on Amy's summary, it seems as though you're in a situation in which you feel trapped and aren't getting support from your own family.

What I see is deterioration of self esteem through caregiving for a disagreeable MIL. It's literally sucking you in and down, like quicksand.

Is your husband helping at all with caring for MIL, or are you stuck with everything? I apologize if you've addressed that in other threads.

I think you probably know that if you segue into subordinating your own rights and needs b/c of MIL (or anyone else), that you're slipping a little bit further each time into that quicksand trap?
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I am on meds for depression (have been for years since my initial dx) and, yes, I have considered counseling, but it would be impossible at this time since I don't drive. I feel like the biggest pain in the arse and I really got ripped by my family about "canceling " my own pt, st, etc. I canceled for 2 reasons : I didn't feel it was helping me, and it was hard to concentrate on it when my mil would walk out with no pants at all on. :(
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Lost, you are truly in a very tough situation. We all feel for you and have tried to help you with your less than agreeable MIL and your own health issues. Have you considered one on one counseling or therapy?

One thing I think we’ve all discovered is that when we are caring for loved ones with mental and/or physical issues, there are really no hard and fast rules. It’s difficult to say, “well, when this happens, we will do this for or say that to them.” Ideas are wonderful but with this dementia, this awful disease, we all fly by the seat of our pants.

The single most important thing to do, in my opinion, is to know when to say when. You’re loved one will not be walking around with a sign that says, “I’m ready.” Plan now for placement. Plan now for what you will say to them and research this site for help. Plan for finances and help if she’ll need it. There are many surprises when we deal with our loved ones on a day to day basis, but one thing we can plan for is how we react when these tough decisions need to be made.
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