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I just realized our life has become that of caregiver/partner no longer partner/partner and I need help.

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I agree that you will likely find comfort on this site. I can, however, suggest wellspouse.org for spouses as an add-on. I have no knowledge of how many partner/partner relationships are on the WSA site but you may want to check that out, too. I think it's often helpful to have a good mix of support, so please keep coming back to agingcare, as well. There are many caregiving spouses/partners in this community.
Carol
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There are threads on this site that refer to spouses or partners. I am a spouse and have always felt welcome.
D: Caregiving for a husband/spouse seems to be a missing topic. Lets get our two words in.
https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/caregiving-for-husband-spouse-155578.htm

There seem to be lots of christians on this website, but most seem to be "real" christians, lovers, not judgers. If anyone picks on you, let me know, and I'll punch them out!

There is much more in common in the caregiving journey than there are differences. Even if you find somewhere more specific, don't deny yourself this community! The wisdom and support are incredible.
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My husband (we're both 70) is needing more and more caretaking, and I'm learning to give it. It's a weird roller coaster, between his bad times (mimicking dementia) and his good times (normal but weak and fragile, and telling me to back off).

If you click on my icon and then on 'activity', most of the threads I'm active in have posts about spouses. But as others have said, on most questions it doesn't really matter. A care receiver is a care receiver, whatever relation and ages you both are.

Welcome!
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It is natural to feel some resentment when I find myself taking on more of the responsibilities that were and "should be" shared. That resentment is tiring and demoralizing, and I'm trying to avoid it, to stop resisting the fact of the disease and his lost abilities. Then there's the ingratitude....

My point is, don't blame yourself if you can't act like a saint all the time or have a constantly loving heart. Do your best, which may be pretty mediocre some days, forgive yourself, and forgive her. Then you are more able to enjoy the good days.
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Thank you for welcomingme. In anger a few weeks ago my partner told me to start acting like the caregiver I was. Until then I thought I was helping her until she got better. Of course I knew she wouldn't get better. Before you compare her illness to what all of you are dealing with let me explain. She has, in easy terms Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. That is more then just being tired, it is physical/mental/emotional, she is on disability because she can't work and often can't get out of bed or carry on a conversation.

Thanks to reading various threads here for the first time last night in bed I was able to look at her as the woman I love that I am the caregiver for, not as a rejected lover and actually slept peacefully instead of going to sleep in tears.

I AM going to hang with you guys, hope you won't be sorry you extended such kind and welcoming comments.
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Sorry? You should read my posts! I feel like I'm whining all the time! Everyone here is so supportive.. If you write a new question referring to CFS I bet there is someone here dealing with the same issues...hugs..
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Digger you are never alone. Reach out to us with questions are share your knowledge.
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Thank you, I feel very alone and it's ok now that I know why, just a hard realization to come to.
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I'm caring for my husband, and this group welcomed me. I haven't found a group specifically for partners. Let me know if you do, please.
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Some of us are partners, some spouses, some siblings, some children. We are all in the same boat.
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