I have observed on numerous occasions that folk come to the forum looking for advice because the situation they are experiencing is new to them or they have to vent because they can no longer deal with it and some forum members lay the FOG on very thick. It is my belief that if a person is stugggling with decisions already it is not wise to tell them things such as :
(1) Fear & Guilt
How will you feel after your LO death, will you regret your decisions?
They are responsible for caring for their parent(s) because they took care of them as children (This is a decision that their parent(s) made, to conceive and birth a child).
Everyone is not cut out for hands on caregiving, they have small children at home or can not quit their job to care for a LO and expect to survive unless they are financially secure. If you quit your job life does not stop and wait for your return.
My story is that I did quit my job to care for my mother, thanks to a very supportive husband that was able to provide health insurance for me. However, my retirement benefits are no longer of existence (other than my 401K) and I am trying to save so I don't become a burden to our child. My mother is currently in a memory care facility and I would probably care for her again but just know that I have changed mentally and physically after caring for her in our home for 4 years.
In closing I would like to say to all of the caregivers that are struggling with your decision to place or not to place your LO.
Search your heart, make a decision and stick with it. If you make a decision you can change your mind and go in another direction at a later time if you choose to.
I would also like to know some of the things that you have been told by others that made your decision harder and what your final decision was.