My Mother is in assisted living now for about 3 years and has dementia, with her short term memory pretty bad. She is able to be physically mobile but chooses to lie in bed all day. I have been told that dementia leads people to seek comfort and security which often means the bedroom.
She won’t engage in the activities there and thinks they are silly. She won’t make friends. Yet she complains of having nothing to do and feeling useless. She won’t help herself by choosing to engage. I work full time but even pre-Covid when I was there to visit I couldn’t get her to go to activities there with me. I have left her mending to do per her request, or knitting projects for the homeless but she is not self-directed enough to complete these tasks which she is still able to do. She always says “thanks, I’ll do it later today’. and never will as she forgets. We have her in individual PT to help retain mobility, and have asked them to try their best to get her to group PT and not give her a choice. That is the problem - they can’t make her if she says no, which is what she does if she pins them and asks “does she have to do it”. She is a rule follower and doesn’t give them trouble if something is not required, but intelligent enough to ask that question. Her days are long and boring and it breaks my heart. My logical mind says “well, if she won’t help herself...” but a dementia mind is not a logical mind. Thanks for any thoughts or encouragement. We can get her out now 2x a week at least!