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If the threat seems imminent (i.e., if there are weapons or pills he has access to) call 911 and have him taken to the ER for a psych evaluation.
Take all threats of suicide seriously.
Do let him know that you understand how he feels. Let him talk about it, explain what for him is the worst of it. Don't negate what he feels. Tell him you can understand how he feels.
So sorry. For your pain. And for his pain. Let us know if you find anything that can work. I hope time will make this loss less acute.
angelw43, does your FIL have any options to get out & about without driving himself?
The car is not as important as his well being. He will get used to not driving. It’s an adjustment.
Years ago, I couldn’t drive for months after a bicycle accident that I had. It was frustrating.
My friends went to the grocery for me and took me places. At first I was embarrassed and apologized to them. I got used to not driving.
I have great friends and they told me not to apologize. I then graciously said thanks to them. I ended up being able to repay the favor to one friend when they had an accident.
If he threatens suicide, take him to the nearest ER and have him Baker acted. That's an involuntary psychiatric hold for up to 72 hours, pending re-evaluation, and it can be done on a regular floor of a hospital if the hospital does not have a psych bed. Remain calm and let professionals handle him.
After that when he would ask about it I would tell him that the medication he was on made it so he could not drive.
After a while he stopped asking
I did have to lock the keys of my car up or I put them on a carabiner and clipped them to my belt loop. (I still keep them there)
If you think his threat of suicide is serious the next time he mentions it call 911 and tell them that there is a suicide threat. They will transport him to the hospital.
Have you talked to his doctor about the anxiety and agitation as well as the threats of suicide?
And are the threats real or is it like anyone saying .."If that happens one more time I think I'll kill myself" just a way to vent frustration.
Is he able to go to an Adult Day Program? Many transport and it would give him an outlet, something to do and it would give him a break from the day to day routine as well as giving you a break.
Getting up and leaving the house, going for a drive is a way to combat boredom as well as frustration. Giving him something to do might help that.
I "handled" it by explaining things to him. This was not well-met with one nephew and we didn't speak for better than 10 years after I stopped allowing my father to drive.
BTW, his heart doctor advised me to not encourage his driving. I don't think I ever told Pop that.
Put yourself in your FIL's shoes for a minute and just tell him what you would want someone to tell you.