I split the time with my sister. We each have half of the year to take care of her. I don't work, so I am with her 24/7. I do have responsibilities, but can't seem to get all of them done. They use that against me and say I don't work so I have more time. Also, I am questioned with every penny I spend. I should say with every penny Mom spends when she is at our home. We eat out a lot and cost of living is more here. I feel bad sometimes asking to be refunded for her expenses, but it gets to be a lot. This time I put every penny that was spent and it almost doubled for the month. My sister says I should pay for some and I do. I also split the grocery bill 4 ways even though my mom eats 50% of it. What should I do or how do I make my sister understand that I spend more and need more money for Mom than they do? I can't help it that I am blessed and don't have to work, but I still have chores and always replacing rugs and spoons and glasses that my mother breaks and ruins. She needs more attention than people know. Also, I get a babysitter when we are going away for a while. My sister says I should not pay anyone cause she doesn't. How do I address these problems the right way?

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And leave the "I need more than they do" out of the conversation. Keep it care focused and what it would cost to have her somewhere else.
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If mom's needs are increasing while sibs are getting more critical of the care she is receiving and money she is spending, shop assisted living in your area. Make plans to move mom. That may get them to butt out. My twisted sisters continually found fault, spending too much of mom's, MOM'S MONEY, thought assisted would be cheaper than remaining in her home about 4K a month with caregivers and day care, utilities, etc. Assisted started 6.5K a month, then she need her own caregiver because of her behaviors. When necessary, another 6-10K a month!

Twisteds wanted me out because of costs so they would be able to save more of their inheritance. LOL! Your sis doesn't know when she has it good.

And, in spite of you thinking you do not have to work, you are working very hard and sacrificing much. WHY?
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Your mother should be paying her way. That's only fair.

A contract should be drawn up. Mom should be paying for rent and for caregiving.

Mom should also pay for respite for you.
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