How do you explain to a senior who is depressed that depression is common and not a moral failing?

I am so sorry to hear about your Aunt's condition. It is common for seniors and even long-term care dependents who are struck with illness or injuries to experience depression, their limited physical condition triggers it.

However, it is not easy to deal with people who suffers from depression and managing it may take enormous efforts. Usually, they look at any situation as negative, so the least you can do is take away the negativity by helping her look at the brighter side, it would be helpful to talk to her about it but don't be too hard on her by just saying she is depressed, that would just worsen the situation. As long as she does not admit it, the problem will just persist.You may start a light conversation telling her that about things you notice about her and if she wants to talk about it. Or you can even try to talk to her focusing on wonderful things like being tough and lucky to have families and friends supporting her instead of focusing into her illness or disability.

Don't forget to ask for support among other family members and seek the aid of professionals.

Good luck!

onlythelonely, I like the article Karen has shared. The things listed in there really are helpful. But based on my own experience with having depression it is not very realistic to expect a person who is depressed to snap out it by thinking positive, etc. If we could do that, we wouldn't be depressed! But to the extent that someone else can encourage these behaviors that can be very helpful. It is hard for someone who is depressed to take initiative. Enjoying a holiday or an outing can be therapeutic, but just getting started can be hard. Having someone who invites you and encourages you and maybe even drags you along can make a huge difference.

Getting enough sleep is critical.

How do you know that your aunt is clinically depressed? I happen to think it is perfectly appropriate to feel bad when bad things happen to you. It is only if you get stuck in the bad feelings that it is a problem. A stroke is a bad thing. Feeling sad and angry and irritated and even full of rage seems to me to be not pathological. But when did the stroke happen? How long has Aunt been exhibiting these behaviors? If you think that she is "stuck" and the suggestions in the article don't help, then some treatment might be in order.

Usually treatment for depression involves both medication and talk therapy. If you are Aunt's caregiver, then letting her doctor know what you are observing should be helpful. The next time she sees him or her they can discuss treating the chemical imbalance that the stroke may have caused.

After a head injury my husband recovered amazingly well ... except that he was apathetic and not his usual animated self. After a year his sleep psychiatrist prescribed an anti-depressant. Hubby objected, saying he wasn't sad. Dr agreed and pointed out that sadness was not the only symptom that anti-depressants could help. He showed him where in the brain he was injured and explained how that could have caused a chemical imbalance. I am soooo glad Hubby was willing to try the pills. That literally gave me my husband back! (10 years later he developed dementia, but that is another story.)

I really do believe in treating depression, even if you have to call it "brain chemical imbalance). But I don't think every sad reaction to bad events is necessarily clinical depression. It is so good of you to be concerned for your Aunt's well-being. I wish you every success in helping her.

In my experience it's just as well not to discuss depression per se but redirect and focus on things people like to do. They're already in a hard place and hurting physically and emotionally, so they don't need to deal with something else. It's just not worth it or helpful to focus on something so negative.

Seems to me that your aunt already has a positive and realistic attitude in viewing her recovery as "work to be done". Focus on the scope of that work and how it can be accomplished and emphasize the milestones she achieves.

I hope this isn't taken critically, but your aunt does have the right not to be lectured about what you think may be depression, even if you might be her only caregiver.

I do think that younger generations are much more open (in fact sometimes too much so) in sharing all their personal feelings (including depression) whereas previous generations, especially those who survived the Great Depression, have a more "suck it up" attitude rather than a psychoanalytic and post it all on Facebook attitude.

They have a stamina that's admirable.

Sometimes there really are generational differences.

thanks all - She and I had a talk the other day and she told me how crabby she has been for several weeks, she talked of the frustration, etc, and I listened and agreed, " I know it must be very tough for you…" she also mentioned how she has no interest in usual things, or food, but she eats, no pleasure with television. I based her depression on my own history with depression. I know from past experience that she see's depression as something, "other people have.." and another major adjustment for her has been her lack of alcohol. She was a daily drinker. now none.

Hopefully she will bring her "crabbiness" up with her doctor next time, and he will get it.

Plus, the fact that her brain suffered a trauma. I can't imagine how overwhelming that must feel.

It's probably better to avoid labeling it depression. Some older people equate depression with being weak or crazy. It's best to focus on her acknowledgement that there's work to be done, and let some of that work be talking over her feelings of anger and moodiness with her doctor.