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Had a really bad couple of weeks some good day's but some melt down's like crying and major anxiety and feeling mad, guilty at the littlest thing's, depressed, frustration etc.

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It can be unending, unrelenting,& overwhelming !...We had no idea how drammaticlly our lives would slowly change, as my mother became the narristic, arguementative center of the universe. Naturally, my sibblings bailed out of the help & support promised, but not before "repremanding" us for having offered to "try" to take care of Mom..."No-One Put A Gun To Your Heads"/"You Got What You Deserved"...What a nitemare, lost friends, time together,our financial resourses, etc. I even caught myself "sneaking" out the back in the middle of the nite just to walk & feed the dogs w. out it having to become an "event" or "discussion"...When my wife & I caught each other mumbling under our breaths. "I wish I was dead" or "How did life get so bad, so fast",,,,WE were aware that with insidiuos, slowness, OUR lives had become, nothing more than a depressing, exsistance of chores, lectures, assignments.now WE were the depressed ones & Mom was clueless & happy as a clam!..It was if WE had moved in with Mom, not the other way around....FORTUANTLY, having reached this point, despite the "support groups" I was attending, I knew we had to make changes...NO MORE DEBATES about everything from what brand of butter to how I ran my company...I enrolled MOM in classes, the gym, had a cab come unannouced to take her to the movies, etc...SHE wasn't happy about any of it, but WE were/are able to build our lives together again, rediscover laughter, & the people that we are/were, that offered to take on this task in the 1st place....REMEMBER YOU COUNT!..YOU COME 1ST..& YOU HAVE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE!...or you'll have nothing left to offer, or the time & strength for the challanges in your own life !..Get out of House, try not to make every conversation w, friends about your parent, make a point of doing something that YOU enjoy everyday...I'm not sure yet, if it gets "GOOD", but it can & does get BETTER!
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Blannie I agree! I do not have my sister helping me at all. All she does is complain. I have been depressed sometimes or near and to scream. I wish I could tell her Up your nose with a rubber hose
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I was stopped by an elderly neighbour a few weeks ago telling me I looked awful, she said I needed a break from caring for my mum. she said I had lost weight, I looked tired, my face had sunk in. I never took much notice of this, a few others commentated on this too. I asked my sister if I looked any different, she said no, but then I see her everyday, or she was being nice to me.a good friend of mine came down, I had seen her 3weeks previous, she also stated the same, that I looked shocking, I had lost so much weight, I knew that was true as my trousers no longer fitted.i put it down to walking the dog, which I have did for 13yrs.i guess I was making excuses for myself. I had lost 2stone in weight, I was shocked but put it down to stress. there are times I do feel depressed but I play music I enjoy listening too, it takes my mind of it I believe anyway.again 1 of my mums carers commented on my weight loss last night, my sister agreed with her, whether it is depression or not I really don't know, the only thing I feel is tiredness all the time.i mentioned this to the doctor at hospital a week ago, as I have epilepsy, I go every 3 months,all is well thankfully with this. he told he would e-mail my doctor to see about this weight loss,and I was to make an appointment to go and see him. I never did this, he has since phoned me and I go and see him this week comming, im sure it is depression, that is why I feel tired, allways worrying about my mum falling in the house, out of bed etc. I hope it is anyway that way medication will help, I just feel I take 11 pills per day for epilepsy, and adding more I could do without truthfully.i do look awful, I finally accept this, I just want my face to fill out again making me look normal, I long for a day when someone says I look better.
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Well Shakingdustoff, it's called a spirit of self hatred, bitterness, which we all get to experience when they decide to share. I also was told I had PTSD due to my childhood that was a good news day! LOL. Both my folks are now in a memory care unit over 1360 miles from me now. However I should have never gotten that phone installed for them. My dad has dementia he rages and I'm one of his favor targets (((((((Yeah Me)))))))). I've lost my job 13 years last year in August when I went back to care for them, and having trouble finding another one. I'm 58 and not to many employers looking for my age bracket. I have a long painful story of caring for my folks involving now attorney 3 for guardian due to my father being so difficult and greed from the law firms that didn't want me to have conservatorship as that would take away billable hours. I really can't stand attorneys in the elder care field in the state of Virginia total jerks! Geez now I'm starting to come alive as remembering how steamed I get at the abuse from the legal system so yes I get overwhelmed an depressed. Sorry your elder is back to complaining again I hope you can set some boundaries with them and take care of you!
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Overwhelm thanks for posting about this that's a good start. Yes I have depression, anxiety, sleeplessness don't want to go outside. All the lovely symptoms of depression. I feel really stuck, I've been on meds off meds, counseling no counseling. Prayer don't have any real answers as it's such a personal thing as how to resolve the issue of depression. Circumstantial or is in in your DNA generation hard to say. It's real and serious needs to be dealt with. Getting out, eating right, exercise positive thinking all part of the solution. The triggers are important to watch for such as toxic people. That could be anyone in your life that hurts and belittles you, your efforts. Distancing myself from them helps. Yes easy to get depressed if your a caregiver at least for me if your prone to this. Sorry your in that place seek whatever help you need and if you have to walk away from your elder do it to save yourself, for however long you need to walk away. You have to live your life a healthy life you deserve to be happy!
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Thank you all for the advice but it just seems so mind bottling sometimes.
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I have gone through periods where I was really a combination of depressed and angry. More when I had two parents to contend with and no help from my brother. After my dad died, half of my stress went away. I also finally accepted I can't make my brother do as much as I think he should do. That helped. And I've started exercising regularly and getting out to meet other people. Both of those things have helped me immensely. I still overeat, but it's manageable. When my world was small (limited to caregiving and work) my future seemed so bleak and hopeless. Now that my world has expanded through getting out more and being around other people, my outlook has improved and I feel very positive these days.
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overwhelm, I think we all go through bad periods. I've been up and more lucid this week. There are other times, however, when I feel like I'm in a darker place. If I stayed in it too long I would start seeing a therapist. I probably need to do that, anyway, but I don't like to talk to people about my problems. They just seem so ordinary.
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