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My mother very recently moved into Assisted Living and is only allowing them to help her shower infrequently. As it is 2 hours from me, I visited for the first time today and frankly, she smelled. The nurse told me she is refusing showers. What can I say to her to encourage her to stay clean and free of odor in a "gentle manner" rather than being blunt?

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Thank you freqflyer. My mother has had personal caregivers for years in her own apartment and they always got her to shower and assisted so "all the areas" were cleaned. I don't know what it is, but it isn't shyness.

Other than this, it appears she is adjusting much better than expected. She's making friends, but I'm afraid if she doesn't do better with the hygiene, that may not last.
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I am surprised that the Assisted Living isn't encouraging your Mom to shower. I know it can be difficult as one ages... the fear of falling in the shower... the fear of the water hitting their skin.... shyness... claustrophobia of the size of the shower.

Rita, since your Mom very recently moved to her new home, it will take her time to get adjusted to the place and adjusted to the Aides.

I remember when my Dad was very shy about having his caregiver help him with a shower, he kept making excuses not to take one, until one day she put her hands on her hips and said "Mr. Bob, I raised a houseful of boys, there isn't anything I haven't seen before". It worked !!!

Is there any type of body powder or lotion that your Mom would like wearing? Chanel #5 or something in a rose scent. It could be used as a bribe for only after taking a shower.
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