My father has congestive heart failure; is 92 and is a living facility. He has been worsening for the few years while i took care of him at home, but a year ago he became more than i could safely handle and i took him to a living facility.
He has been complaining of shortness of breath for about a month.... he has done that for years but now seems to have worsened. The Home Based Primary Care Registered Nurse has been seeing him when i call her, sometimes but she has been able to accomplish much except try something else which doesnt work. I took him into his old gerontologist today for a consult. She said there really wasnt anything else to do. I told her I cant tell him that. She said "would he want to know" I dont think so. He's very frightened and latches on to me and doesnt want me to leave. I have no doubt but that he's progressing, but his oxygen level was 96 today so i dont think his shortness of breath is from that. I took him to a psychiatrist who needed counseling himself. He gave him ambien and he has up to 2 doses of lorazepam PRN except he doesnt know how to ask for him and it doesnt seem to help anyhow when i ask for it.
I just dont know what to do next. Tonight, he clung to me after i finally got him in bed and with one word at a time He said "you (breath) have (breath) to (breath)call (breath) me....in the morning to make sure i got through the night. i have never felt this bad. Why cant i breathe? (breath in between all those, you get it... Hes done this before and the next afternoon is okay and doesnt remember, but never for a month. He just stares and nods his head back and forth. and when he talks its always about how bad everything is, or how bad he is.
In the meantime, i have two staff members that gave their notice and a business to run. Reality is that it is 10pm now and i will be up at least working at least another 2 hours. I am exercising and eating well but of course dog tired.
I don't feel major depressed; don't need to run away. Would just like to hear some sage advise from of you that been here.