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My 65 yr old wife suffered non-convulsive epileptic seizures and is now mentally impaired and in a skilled nursing facility. Half the time she doesn't know where she is or what's going on. She gets agitated and seems to hurt with the least touches and hasn't been eating so that she is very debilitated necessitating a PEG feeding tube to stabilize her weight. The nurses there say that she is slowly declining with the best that they can do and her mental state is not improving.
I've already signed a DNR but asked that feeding tube and IV s be used used in conjunction with comfort measures.
The question is would she want to continue with no quality of life?

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Willy, I am so sorry that you lost your wife. I can tell that you are a special man, considering what would be best for her and your son. I hope you are able to take comfort in each other this Christmas. I know you'll miss her.
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Wife has passed already. It was peaceful quiet and my son had time with her that brought him comfort, peace with our decision and closure with issues.

Thank you all for your support.

I will continue to monitor this board.
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Just spoke with Hospice. Starts now.
My dread is that she will linger until Christmas and my son has already had his birth-mother AND birth grandmother die right around this time.
There's no point in waiting other than selfishly wanting it to happen AFTER the holiday so we start now and everyone says about 5 days.
Thank you all for your help and support.
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so sorry to hear of your struggles....my mother has been on a vent/trach for the past 10 months, long battle after suffering a traumatic brain injury (as a result of a fall in the hospital), I know for certain she is aware at times but overall prognosis is poor, in the past she always discussed wanting to live under extreme measures, but not sure what she'd say about her current situation with no quality of life, some siblings want hospice, some "comfort" care, and I try to live day by day.....God bless you and your wife
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Willy, hang in there and I'm in agreement with others and thankful for you that doctors and care team reached same conclusion. Cherish these last moments with your wife, know you are concluding a lovely journey together.

As time passes, remember your life journey continues and you carry on for both of you.

Come back here for support and I hope you will join a grief support group. They can be so helpful. They probably have one at the NH now that you can go to even while your loved one is still alive to support you thru these last days.
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Yesterday was one of the toughest days so far. Doctors, nurses and social workers all agree. that it's time for hospice.
The seizures have caused so much damage that there's no hope, no awareness, no recognition.
For us it's now just so clear that my question has answered itself.

Pam, Bababou, thank you. Everyone else as well.
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Oh Willy, this is so very sad for your wife and for you! I'm with Pam on not prolonging her suffering and agitation.
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Thank you Pam
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If it was me, I would tell you to get rid of the feeding tube and call Hospice for me. Bring on the Morphine and make me comfortable, first and foremost. Don't let me linger on in pain and confusion. Send me to Heaven and I will smile down on you in thanks.
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