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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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We live in an assisted living facility but his Alzheimer's makes it impossible to participate in the activities here. He has aphasia so communication is difficult. Thanks for any ideas.
What is he doing to signal his boredom? Wandering around? Being clingy? My Aunt with advanced dementia really enjoyed both her live cat and her "Baby" stuffed rainbow-colored Llama. Maybe a realistic-looking pet toy can provide comfort and distraction.
Also, is he on any meds for depression or anxiety? If not, maybe it's time to talk to his primary care physician about this.
What symptoms do you see that your husband NEEDS this extra stimulation. Often, at the stage where there is no speech, no hearing, no ability to participate, the elder is also at the stage where he/she is content to sit, if there is someone watching over (which is still you ). Without you I suspect he would be in memory care. There the activities and fewer as there is very little ability of residents to participate in activities. Often simple sing-along or pet visits. Such things are enough stimulation at that time.
I am uncertain here what the problem is with non-participation? Can you explain? Also, as you are in care at this time, have you asked for suggestions by those giving care? They might be your best resource as they know your hubby well, whereas we are guessing.
I wish you best of luck. I do well remember that my brother's assisted living had two communal rooms at the end of each "cottage" which held some 14 resident rooms. The level of participation ranged everywhere from folk sitting and listening as OTHERS played board games, did puzzles, painted, watched TV, to all variety of levels of participation. There's really no problem with that as long as all are more or less contented.
I play music for my father when I sit with him. Not sure if he even cares if I do or I don’t, I don’t get much feedback, He loved opera so that’s what I usually play.
It seems in your answer that both of you are in assisted living. You have no memory issues while your husband has pretty advanced dementia. Having dementia, It would be hard for him to interact or keep up with any of the activities in assisted living. Sometimes husbands and wives move to the memory care section when one of them has dementia. I cared for a woman who had very advanced dementia while her husband did not... When they moved into assisted living she was just lost... So they they transferred to memory are where she received more personalized care tailored to dementia and I would come now and then to assist... Her husband would go off for a few hours to interact with those in assisted living. He would have breakfast and dinner with his wife . It sounds like perhaps your husband can no longer keep up with what's going on with conversations ,TV , etc . But perhaps may enjoy a walk outside, or any of the other suggestions mentioned here. Sometimes music really tends to be soothing. In assisted living they really try to keep everybody active and social... But sometimes and under different circumstances not everyone feels up to joining everything. You just want to make sure that your husband is comfortable, as content as can possible, eating well, and getting a little bit of exercise. All these suggestions here are so good.
If you were doing nothing, you would be bored. That's because your brain isn't broken and it craves stimulation.
Try not to overly worry about your husband not joining in. Nevertheless, don't ignore him and don't exclude him. That's as much for you as for him. Human connection, however imperfect is so important.
Mum responded best to music. She would light up when played music she'd enjoyed when younger. I have to warn you that, one time, it also had the opposite effect - Abba's Thank You For The Music resulted in tears (this was towards the end when her dementia had suddenly got worse). I felt awful for having made her sad, but it was also good to see that she could still feel and could be comforted by me.
I usually play some music while I visit my father. I've been playing a lot of opera lately because he always liked it. .He doesn't respond, so I can't really tell if he's enjoying it or not, but at least it is something. I also show him old pictures and some times he will smile at a memory. He also looks forward to the jelly donut I bring him each time I visit.
I've told the social director that he should be always be brought to any of the shows that the NH puts together for some stimulation. There's usually something each week.
I don't think my father is bored. It seems he really doesn't care anymore about anything. But I still try to connect.
A fidget blanket may help him pass the time. Getting a basket of washcloths to fold, and refold later, helped my relative. Could he hear with headphones on and turned up? If so, recorded short books may be a possibility
Females will sometimes adopt a doll as a companion. I wonder how your husband would react to some kind of realistic soft stuffed animal or fuzzy robot dog.
I did this for my grandma. She had cats as pets and so we got her a stuffed kitty - the ones that are safe for toddlers that don't have anything that can be a choking hazard. She was very comforted by the cat and believed it was her beloved pet from home. It made a huge difference in her behavior and mood.
My husband has the same issues and is in memory care. He doesn't talk intelligibly. His hearing aids broke, were irreplaceable, and over time, he invented a sort of sign language. His friends at memory care have picked it up, and they communicate that way. Because he can't respond to hearing tests, I contacted the Sertoma Club. They collect used hearing aids, and they found some similar to his old ones. His communications skills improved, and now he can better respond to caregivers, his friends and visitors. He even initiates communication with frequent visitors of his friends there.
It's important to talk and interact with him a lot, just like with a baby, so he'll want to talk back, even though others can't understand what he says. Often DH's tone of voice communicates his thoughts, such as raising his tone at the end of a sentence as he would when asking a question. Or an imperative order accompanied by a gesture, such as telling me to pull up a chair to his and sit down - all silent language letting me know that he wants to visit and "talk."
Get your husband's hearing corrected any way you can, even though he no longer talks understandably. Keep him around people though he cannot participate in most activities. There are some he can do - outside blowing bubbles, perhaps batting balloons around, anything to keep him engaged and around others who communicate.
I wish you luck. There are no easy answers, and sometimes there are no answers at all, but this is working for us.
How his behaviour? How is he acting and why do you think he is bored if he has no memory? If he won't even watch tv, how do you know he has not just tuned out the world? How about playdoh?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Also, is he on any meds for depression or anxiety? If not, maybe it's time to talk to his primary care physician about this.
I am uncertain here what the problem is with non-participation? Can you explain?
Also, as you are in care at this time, have you asked for suggestions by those giving care? They might be your best resource as they know your hubby well, whereas we are guessing.
I wish you best of luck. I do well remember that my brother's assisted living had two communal rooms at the end of each "cottage" which held some 14 resident rooms. The level of participation ranged everywhere from folk sitting and listening as OTHERS played board games, did puzzles, painted, watched TV, to all variety of levels of participation. There's really no problem with that as long as all are more or less contented.
Try not to overly worry about your husband not joining in. Nevertheless, don't ignore him and don't exclude him. That's as much for you as for him. Human connection, however imperfect is so important.
Mum responded best to music. She would light up when played music she'd enjoyed when younger. I have to warn you that, one time, it also had the opposite effect - Abba's Thank You For The Music resulted in tears (this was towards the end when her dementia had suddenly got worse). I felt awful for having made her sad, but it was also good to see that she could still feel and could be comforted by me.
I've told the social director that he should be always be brought to any of the shows that the NH puts together for some stimulation. There's usually something each week.
I don't think my father is bored. It seems he really doesn't care anymore about anything. But I still try to connect.
It's important to talk and interact with him a lot, just like with a baby, so he'll want to talk back, even though others can't understand what he says. Often DH's tone of voice communicates his thoughts, such as raising his tone at the end of a sentence as he would when asking a question. Or an imperative order accompanied by a gesture, such as telling me to pull up a chair to his and sit down - all silent language letting me know that he wants to visit and "talk."
Get your husband's hearing corrected any way you can, even though he no longer talks understandably. Keep him around people though he cannot participate in most activities. There are some he can do - outside blowing bubbles, perhaps batting balloons around, anything to keep him engaged and around others who communicate.
I wish you luck. There are no easy answers, and sometimes there are no answers at all, but this is working for us.