Over five years ago, I started taking care of my Mother full time after she broke her ankle after a fall. She has had several more medical issues arise and two years ago broke her back standing up from her recliner.
I am so worn out. I wasn't well before this started but my health is deteriorating. I have my own mobility issues due to a neurological condition and it's becoming more difficult to get myself around.
My family literally lives down the road but it falls on me to do everything because she lives with me. For example, I asked for help just to get the heavy bags of trash out and it was met with refusal. I ended up buying a wagon to pull behind me. (It helps.)
Mom has always relied on my to do everything before she fell but now she won't even try to do anything for herself. If things are difficult or painful she just refuses to try. She's now gotten to the point where she refuses to walk to the bathroom and makes me take her in the wheelchair. (Which, I don't mind, when she needs it but she is supposed to be using her walker to do this. The doctors, nurses, home health, rehab have all said that she can and should be doing this daily.)
I feel so terrible. I feel like have and am enabling her to decline by letting her bully me into refusing to do her home exercises, daily walking, etc.
She keeps getting UTIs because she won't get up to change her incontinence briefs. When I ask if she is wet, she lies to avoid getting up. If I attempt to make her get up, it is an argument.
I am watching her go downhill and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it. I feel like it's my fault! I'm doing everything I can for her and nothing seems to be helping! I'm seeing a therapist but that doesn't change the fact that I'm alone in taking care of everything.
I'm stressed out. I'm sad. I'm morose. I'm angry. I'm hurt. I'm not planning for my future. I'm just stuck in this revolving hell where I'm getting sicker and she's getting worse. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.