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My mom relies on candy, cookies, and sometimes brownies to get a boost of energy. At one point, she was relying on donuts to help her have the energy to get a shower. She would speculate what the key ingredient is in those things that would help her. Chances are, the ingredient is sugar and sugar isn't a reliable source of energy.



However, it should be noted she does eat meals and it's not 100% sweets all the time.



She drinks 2 cans of Coca Cola every day. There were some days where she would have 3. At one point last year, she decided she would have just 1 can each day. That lasted for just a few days. She went back to 2 cans so she could "have a pick me up" with the 2nd can.



She needs to be told that junk food isn't helping her get better by any means and she needs an improved diet, but I don't know who to turn to and if she'll take the advice and ditch the junk food. The junk food has done more to expand her gut than restore her mobility. She's yet to reach out to a dietician or nutrition who would know what to recommend. I'm 100% positive every dietician and nutritionist in the world disagrees with her when it comes to relying on sweets for energy.

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Take her to a hospital nutritionist if you are that concerned. Many elders do not want to eat all,
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I think they view treats and junk food as delicious and that at their age they deserve to indulge. Nobody who has watched TV or read a magazine in the last 50 years hasn't heard the messages about fat, sugar, junk foods and obesity, if someone chooses to be wilfully ignorant then I doubt that a nutritionist or dietitian will change their minds.
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Agree the sugar is bad. A little chocolate now and then can be good for you though!
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They don't think of eating as nutrition when they get to be elderly--what they choose to eat is convenient, and more often than not, it will be sweets. Convenient AND satisfies a sweet tooth that seems to increase with age. Years ago they used to be called the Tea and Toast population since they relied mostly on tea (they craved the warmth) and toast b/c it was easy.
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Bob, it says in your profile that your mom suffers from cancer. Is she receiving any sort of treatment, such as chemotherpy?

When my BIL was undergoing chemo, he lost much of his sense of taste. Only things with very strong flavors enticed him into eating. Sweets were one of the things he could taste, and much more so from junk foods than things like fruit.

Another factor in some people who forgo healthy foods for junk is financial reasons. Junk foods and highly processed foods are much cheaper than healthier food choices. A can of string beans, for example, is way cheaper than fresh string beans (unless the beans are "in season"). Does your mom have financial issues, or is she worried about having financial issues in the future?

Have any of her doctors expressed concern with her choice of diet or her weight gain? When my MIL had lung cancer, her doctor actually encouraged her to gain weight, because the chemo she was taking did such a number on her appetite as well, and she was so incredibly tiny to begin with (she tipped the scales at 100, but only if she was holding a bowling ball at the time).

If you really think that her diet is detrimental to HER individual health, and she will not listen to you about it, you might need to enlist the aid of one or more of her doctors. But don't be overly surprised if they tell you that they have much bigger concerns about her overall health than her diet, and it might be they are going to pick THAT battle over the battle of her eating habits.
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The soda would be my concern. Its not good for anyone and has mostly sugar. As said Seniors tend to loose taste. Sugar seems to be the one thing they do taste and its instantly gratifying.

Sugar is an energy source. The problem is its a fast high and then it plummets and causes you to then be down with no energy.

You don't say how old Mom is. Seems like she has set in her head that to be able to get anything done she needs something sweet. Not sure how your going to break that thought. I found to eat right you have to be willing to cook it. If Mom lives alone, thats hard. I would get her to cut down on the sodas. One a day to start. Then work on the snacks. But, as a 72 yr old I am very aware I don't eat right but I also do not want to eat Vegan, which is what my daughter is and preaches plant based. I eat very little and when I do eat I want to be satisfied and not satisfied eating certain "plants". 😊
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@notgoodenough

My mom has been finished with the cancer treatments. She completed them in 2018. She isn't doing any treatments of any kind.

There are no financial issues either. This is a combination of bad habits and not completely knowing what to eat and what to avoid.
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Can't help you here. My uncle's mother lived to 102 on a steady diet of fried chicken and Oreos, but not a drop of the Devil's drink ever passed her lips.😉

Seriously, though, a stronger taste might help her cut down on the amount of sugar she's actually consuming. My mother's ability to taste things clearly decreased as she grew older, and she'd have happily dived into ice cream or something like that, but it wouldn't satisfy her cravings. My dad would get dark chocolate-covered almonds from Trader Joe's and give her three or four after lunch and after dinner. That seemed to satisfy her desire for sweets because she could really taste them, and the nuts were more filling than just a piece of chocolate.

If Mom truly needs a boost, get her some chocolate-covered espresso beans. Try to get her off the Coke, because not only is it full of chemicals, it'll burn a hole in her stomach eventually. It's really acidic.
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Have you tried to get her to eat things like black bean brownies, high protein healthy cookies like they sell in health food stores. Most sodas have a version made with Splenda etc. There's also sugar free candies made with Splenda. You might try subbing some of those out and not tell her and just see what happens.
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Let's not forget that elderly will loose their sense of taste, except for sweets.

I remember my Mom shopping list of chocolate muffins, blueberry pie, ice cream, Little Debbie's, Fig Newton's, soft cookies, etc. along with good food items.

Thus, let an elder eat what they want. If they ask for ice cream for breakfast, ask them if they want one scoop or two.
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Melora Mar 2022
I agree. Mom had us all concerned because no matter what I fed her she dropped weight so consistently. I eventually fed her fattening things with her doctor’s consent: whipping cream in her oatmeal, etc…. She too had lost her sense of taste with the exception of sweets. Her doctor just wanted her to stop dropping pounds.
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I am 80. I honestly don't want anyone messing with my diet if nothing is wrong. Energy fine. Check. No illnesses other than age related arthritis. Check. Doing fine, thanks. Don't need advice on what I eat and when necessarily, unless my Doc intervenes and notices something off.
Always with a sensitive gut, in old age there are things I LOVE that it simply doesn't tolerate. The occ. glass of red wine, the bag of potato chips, the popcorn, the huge bowl of ice cream: they are all OUT at this point, simply not tolerated. But maintaining weight where it should be, no swollen things, get my yearly physical.
Only my opinion. I honestly think our kids shouldn't be meddling in our dietary habits unless it's a problem. We may be aging, but we aren't children.
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suzcola Mar 2022
I agree Alva! My parents are 88 and I used to argue with them all the time about eating to much junk food. At their age I have decided that I am not going to fight anymore. They have little to enjoy in the world these days especially after 2 years of Covid so if they want cookies and ice cream and it makes them happy I am going to enjoy the time I have left with them and stop fighting it. 💜
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I ask a few rhetorical questions:
Does she have dementia? If so, this terminal disease will take her no matter what they eat or don't eat. Why prolong their suffering with salmon and kale? Unless they like to eat that.
How would you feel to have someone shame you for drinking alcohol or cheese cake or an extra bowl of ice cream?
My 90+ yo parents have few joys in life left since friends have died, loss of car, loss of independence, etc....why not stop all food or other conflict and just let them enjoy what little time they have left?
Bless you for trying to keep them healthy but really ...is it vital to their happiness and comfort. Nope not really.
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Nelliegot4kids Mar 2022
Exactly! The elderly are in their last days no matter what their health is like. Let them live it out in peace and happiness not badgering them to eat right or do this or that.
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My mum had never been a sweet tooth but became one as her dementia started. Mum had always enjoyed clean and healthy food.
While she eats healthy food too, she’s often craving sweets. If we go to grocery store, she just keeps picking sweet things. While I don’t limit her entirely, I have begun to limit it somewhat. Why? Because her latest blood work indicated she is at risk of developing diabetes and I don’t want that on top of dementia! I don’t want her needing injections! Also, although I can’t say this for sure,.. I have read some information that suggests that sugar feeds dementia in a way. Whether that is true or not, I can’t say BUT I personally feel my Mum is better cognitively with less sugar. Nonetheless, the times I allow her to have something sweet is with her brunch coffee. Otherwise I try opt for a healthier option. Ie if she wants a sweet bakery item, I may suggest a yogurt with blueberries, strawberries.
I on the other hand should probably also limit my sugar intake... ever since been a carer, I have felt so tired that I keep snacking on unhealthy snacks for energy and coz I’m either too tired to cook for myself OR simple don’t have time with working full time and caring.
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If you can, get her to the doctor and ask for a blood glucose tyest or at least an A1C test for diabetes. Sugar craving is one sign of diabetes, which can wreak real havoc in many ways. Sugar may pick you up but it will drop you, sometimes feeling worse, afterward. Much better in every way is protein. Good uck.
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Im probably the odd ball here but if they are in their right mind and depending on their age, I say let them live their life the way they want to. If they know what they are doing then ket them be. I take care of a 89 year old. He still knows what he is doing and if he want ice cream all day, then ice cream it is. He is 89 and I'm here not to tell him what to do. He is living out his life in way that makes him happy and that's how it should be for all elderly.
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Myownlife Mar 2022
Exactly ! I am in total agreement with you. My mom is 96.
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It just the dementia and more “misguided” thoughts. Sweets taste good and well, who doesn’t want stuff that tastes good?

If that’s your biggest battle, I wouldn’t stress over it too much. As they say, “don’t sweat the small stuff”.

Let her have some sweets, but throw in some fruit for sweets too. Start small, like an apple danish (fruit + donut) so he doesn’t argue too much. Don’t tell her it’s fruit…just say ‘this this danish, it’s great.’ Them slowly increase to actual fruit. However, you need to make sure it’s in season and is sweet. That way she’ll like it more. Strawberry season is almost upon us. Add fruit to a healthy cereal.

Now, if you are saying that the only thing she eats is sweets (no meat, vege or grains), that is a tad more concerning, however I’d try to do the same thing, Incorporate healthy foods in with sweets and slowly keep decreasing junk and increasing the healthy food, so she doesn’t gripe too much. There are hundreds of recipes geared towards sneaking healthy foods into things kids eat…get some recipes from online. Does she do her own shopping? Don’t buy as much junk. If she’s not able to get out and get her own, that’ll take care of some of it.

But let her have some goodies. Some sweets are just not that big a deal.
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When my husband's mother was still cooking she would over sweeten everything. It became obvious when she was adding sugar to things like spaghetti sauce and corn chowder. She even put two packets of the yellow sweetener in her orange juice. My husband researched it and found that as we age our taste buds die except for the sweet taste buds. This is all armchair logic but I thought I would share it since it reminded me our experience.
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Oh gosh this is difficult as we want to help loved ones however in this case you say she does eat healthy meals and only has some amount of sweets, she isn’t a child and so this isn’t a matter of her doing something that’s a danger where you would need to intervene. It’s something surprisingly common among adult children to view their senior parent as a child but that itself isn’t good for her to be treated like a child although your motive is to help the solution isn’t to recruit other people to lecture her about her diet. Her diet sounds ok from what you said, most people eat some amount of sweets as long as she’s eating some healthy meals abd you said she is so let it go - if you like you could sometimes make her lower sugar cookies or the like ( no lecturing though about it just sometimes bringing her healthy snacks is the only thing that would be appropriate)
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LittleOrchid Mar 2022
LOL! A number of years ago my sisters and I were trying to make substitutes for the sugary snacks that our mother loved. My own contribution was sugar free jams made from fresh fruit, stevia and a bit of honey. They tasted more like fruit than traditional jams and my sisters and I loved them! Mom did not. She would only eat the full sugar jams that taste more of sugar than of fruit. Upshot: Mom was still eating all the sugar when she died, but my sisters and I now all use the homemade no-sugar fruit jams for our yogurt and toast. Ditto the low-sugar cookies and other treats. She wanted what she grew up with, we loved the less sweet tastes. I am just hoping that in 15 or 20 years our kids will not be telling us to stop using the "bad for you" stevia versions!
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Taste for sweets is the longest-lasting taste, so sweets may become more appealing as sensitivity to other tastes weakens. The temporary energy boost triggered by eating sweets will be followed by a bigger energy crash as the body ramps up its reaction to the sweets. Then the person may go back for more sweets to re-boot the energy--an endless cycle.
It may be hard to get your mother to reverse this habit, but begin to wean her off of the sugar,-boost track. Include some form of lean protein with every snack or sugared soda to "balance" the sugar: chicken, low-fat cheese--some kind of protein without its own sugar. The combination will help keep her energy more even and less reliant on temporary sugar highs.
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My husband has scleroderma and Sjorgen's. His sense of taste has really deteriorated. He likes chocolate cake now, he can "taste" it, he says. He also eats more spicy foods, which I appreciate!! It seems difficult to restrict one of the few pleasures an old person has. However, there are some very unpleasant effects of some bad eating. Diabetes hops to mind first; we are talking about neuropathy and amputations. Her doctor should be able to tell you, and her, how serious a problem her eating is and if it presents any likely health complications in her case.
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Any Google search would provide the information you need to print and/or show her what a healthy diet should consist of. Sugar is addicting and is the underlying cause to inflammation in the body, which is the root cause of countless ailments.
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As we age, our sense of taste and smell diminish, except for sweets. Pepsi, Coca Cola, and several other sodas are addictive and corrosive - so much so, that they are great for removing rust:.
https://youtu.be/DrLoRQbYGh4

I suggest you invest in a "Soda Stream" so you can create your own healthy sodas for her. Stevia is a very effective zero-calorie sweetener - Try water, a drop of vanilla, and a sprinkle of Stevia - (you might want to add a drop of food coloring)
- Please remember that fruit juices are loaded with sugar
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My MIL had dementia. At every meal she'd suggest we start with dessert rather than the main course, or to only eat dessert all together. As always she skipped breakfast but had a cup or two of black coffee everymorning. She was very slim, physically healthy and limber. She ate a light lunch when she was reminded that a meal was prepared and waiting for her in the fridg. She was never hungry but ate like a trucker, veggies and all, when a plate of tasty wholesome food was placed in front of her, but most importantly, only if someone ate with her. And she always had room for something sweet to top off the meal.

Her son, my husband, was never fond of sweets pre-his-dementia. In addition, as an aside, he was always more than a financially careful man. Actually so tight with money that he was accused of making diamonds instead of poop everytime he went to the bathroom, so things like a treat or desserts were to him an unnecessary expenditure. Now in mid-dementia however, if I place in our shopping cart the smallest bag of honey sesame crunch, a middle eastern treat, he'll reach for the largest bag and ask why not get this one? He can't remember what they are, although he's had some before, he just knows it's a sweet and he gets a childish spark of happy excitement. Who is this guy?

I have to add, as a point of interest, that in addition to his newly found sweet tooth that has become a tusk, but he still keeps trim dang it, he also thinks everything tastes incredibly wonderful. Even things I've overcooked and botched in the kitchen. Lucky me.

You don't say anything about your mom's mental state. If she can watch Youtube videos, and she has an addictive personality, who doesn't, get her to start watching health related short messages. This hopefully will be come habitual.

Show her how to subscribe to her favorite personalities and interviewers. I love Youtube interviews on "The School of Greatness" (with host Lewis Howes, a super likable guy) which covers more than just the subject of healthy living. He also conducts other interesting topics that helps to reset the mind to be curious, and interested about thoughtful subjects getting perhaps her mind off of soda pops.

Another more health specific Youtube is one by a couple of fun guys - Bob and Brad https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E83SaMB2PTs.

Btw, I recently bought a little bottle of liquid B-12 from a vitamin shoppe. My mind turns towards that when I'm feeling a bit peckish. I also got an apple slicer to make preparing an apple for snacking fun and nice looking. Peanut butter or cheese with an apple gets me over the hump.

I distill water too so it's become my thing (I do replace the lost minerals in distilling). I will drink a natural sparkling mineral water with lunch on weekends when I feel like being fancy. Nothing but nothing tastes as good as clean water.
And I use to hate water until I found out what clean water tastes like.

I've cold-turkeyed deadly habits. Sugar is still a struggle.

If your mom becomes addicted to health food videos she won't do everything, she may not add exercise, but it's a step in the right direction.
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My eldest brother used to warn my father consistently about bacon and eggs that he had almost daily for breakfast. My mother saved all the bacon fat, as many did in those days. Popcorn made with bacon fat is delicious and my father made it often. My father patiently listened, but ignored the dietary advice of my brother. Brother barely made it past 70. My father lived to be 97.

Sugar is something else. Taste diminishes some with age, but "sweet" is easily obtained, a quick source of energy (and pleasure, which is often somewhat lacking in the lives of the elderly). Too much sugar can be deadly if one is a diabetic. So much of health depends on non-dietetic factors such physical activity and genetics.
I can and do read the current information about diet. I'm not ill-informed. But "lectures" from people decades younger than I can be irritating at times.
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Here's my advice: leave your mother alone to eat whatever she wants & to do as she sees fit. Which is what she's going to do REGARDLESS of what 'nutritionist' you feel she should see for advice! Sugar DOES give a burst of energy, with a crash afterward, which requires another hit of sugar for another burst of energy, and so on and so forth.

You can harp on this subject until the cows come home OR you can have a good relationship with your mother, likely not both.

Some people swear by Energy Drinks to give them a boost. They're no good for one's 'health' either. Which isn't going to stop the Energy Drink crowd from drinking them.

In my view, we humans each have a certain number of days on this earth. When that number is up, we're done. Whether we eat bacon & eggs every day or drink 2 cans of 'Coca Cola'. Think of it this way: at least those Coca-Cola's don't contain cocaine in them anymore! Mom's ahead of the game from that perspective at least! :)
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Isthisrealyreal Mar 2022
Yep! Exercise Hard! Eat Right! Die Anyway!
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She is addicted to sugar....it is poisoning her body and contributes to Aging . Gon on line to Gundry M.D. and view video related to Sugar Addiction. When she gets natural Carbs...will be a factor in getting rid of sugar addiction. Remember...If she is not motivated to "change"...your pushing on her leads to frustration. Old habits are in our brain and body....that is why we call it "addiction". If she indicates she is ready to die....leave her to her "wants". She may need help from a Chaplain to let God meet her Spiritual needs at this time in her life.
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Sugar is very addicting, it is the bases for alcohol and we all know the difficulties alcoholics face when asked to quit their habit.

Second issue, where is her motivation to quit and trade in her brownies for broccoli? Who or what can motivate her: that's the best hope for change. Perhaps a therapist and/or nutritionist?
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blickbob Mar 2022
That's something I'm trying to figure out myself. Idk how to motivate her or who can. I'm not a motivator by any means. She leans on me for encouragement and I'm not an encourager either. I tried encouraging her to get one of her legs off the bed one night recently. It's one of the rare times I've actually had the ability to encourage her. She needed one last little push and she couldn't do it and I had to get it off for her, even though her foot was literally on the edge of the bed. A few minutes later, she started crying and told me she's out of energy and also said "I'm doing the best I can," which isn't much tbbh.

She wants to get better and be normal, but doesn't have the motivation to get going. She'll try to start something, but almost never sticks with it. On a couple of occasions recently, she wanted me to get her some broccoli to cook and on both occasions, they were left sitting in the fridge, never to be cooked.

I really wish she would lean on someone other than me for everything, along with looking for a nutritionist AND a therapist.
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I know you probably didn't mean it this way, but your question is sort of clueless. "Elderly" people really only have one thing in common: they have lived a long time. Your judgements on your mother's eating habits are based on your own opinions of the "right" way to eat, not a careful analysis of her overall diet. You have stated that she eats her meals. If there are no particular problems in her health that could be caused by her dietary choices, perhaps you should leave her to make her own choices.

You might consider that part of the decades-long experience of "the elderly" is that just about every food you can name, including fats and sugars, has at one time or another been a "bad" food or a "good" food. Dietary recommendations from "experts" swing on a pendulum between opposing points of view. In general, if a person does eat vegetables, fruits, grains, and proteins in some sort of balance it is not inappropriate to also include some treat foods that are not highly nutritious.

Even in the case of diabetics a sugary treat is not necessarily a bad thing. I rarely eat sugary foods, they don't appeal to me, so I rarely indulge in them even though I am not diabetic. My mother was diabetic but had a real sweet tooth. She always had candy around and would eat more of it than my sisters and I thought was good for her. However, she lived almost to her 97th birthday and her diabetes was not a part of her causes of death. My sisters and I did make/buy for her a few candies and cookies that did not have much sugar in them but she preferred the candies of her youth. Mostly she wouldn't eat the non-sweets that we tried to provide. Her doctor told her that if she ate her treats after a good meal with protein and vegetables, and kept the treats small, she was ok.

Ultimately, my sisters and I shut up about the "junk" foods and let her enjoy those things that were still left to her as her ability to walk disappeared, then her hearing and eyesight diminished. When she was in hospice I made some of her favorite foods for her: deviled eggs, grilled cheese sandwiches prepared on a panini maker, and followed up with her favorite mint patties. In her final years food was one of the few things that she could enjoy as much as ever. Her tastes did narrow, but she persisted in eating the things that had given her pleasure all her life.

I think that your mother probably does not need to be told to avoid what you consider to be "junk food." She may need to be told that you accept her as she is and that you want to help her feel as well as she can. You may find some alternate snacks that she will enjoy, but she will try them more readily if she does not feel that you are passing judgement on her when you suggest them. It works a lot better to bring a little gift of a snack and tell her how much you love it than to just tell her to change.

By the way, I clearly remember ads that ran in the '50's and '60's that proclaimed "sugar has just 16 calories per teaspoon--and it's all energy." In the same era nutritionists recommended that children have a cookie and milk in the afternoon for an "energy boost" to sustain play until dinner time. The English custom of tea derives from much the same thought. Times change, then change again. It is not wise to think that anything from the current thoughts about a good life are unique to this decade--or will stay the same in the coming decades.
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My mum eats imperial mints all day because she used to be a smoker. Although to us this seems very unhealthy and we would prefer they didnt, they are the master of their choices. Leave her to do what she wants(within reason), she deserves to live life as she pleases.
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I am a registered nurse. Your mother needs a balanced diet - about 1/2 plate full of produce (veggies and some fruit), 1/4 plate full of high quality protein (meat, eggs, and vegetarian protein sources) and 1/4 of the plate with some form a grain (brad, potatoes, rice, pasta, cereal - whole grains are better). Most seniors actually need high quality protein at every meal to smooth out their blood sugar and give them stamina,

Since she is having a hard time with her energy levels, please consider that she might need an evaluation by a medical doctor. It is not unusual for seniors to develop low thyroid levels, low iron or vitamin 12, and/or diabetes. All of these problems as well as ones I didn't list can make her feel sluggish. They can be treated and she can feel more energetic.
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