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When you live with someone, it does get tiresome to put up with a sour personality. You are not alone. I've found that there is nothing I can do to keep my mother's mood lifted and maintain any sort of life for myself. Are there any things that your mother can do? Staying busy seems to be the key to fighting off misery and bad mood. The trouble is that we can't stay busy for them and we can't make them be busy if they are resistant.
I'm glad that you were able to get away with your husband for a while. You can't control how your mother reacted. You can only refuse to let it get to you. The changing of the will is a bit extreme. It would be nice if she were more appreciative of the efforts you make to keep her comfortable, but many elders don't think that way.
I was just thinking of how sometimes I try to get my mother to see things from my perspective or someone else's perspective. She has dementia and is unable to do that. Her own perspective is the only one she is able to entertain. Somewhere along the way, empathy with me got lost. She still has an emotional empathy with her grandchildren that can be a bit extreme (and worrisome at times), but her empathy with me is totally gone. I do not understand it, except maybe to her it is not important to impress me.
I do wish researchers would look more at the psychology of older people. They are so interesting. It seems like most of the psychological works just end up saying "Old folks are like that" and tell us nothing. When you mix in a little dementia they add that it is just the disease. :)
Be that as it may. And leaving aside the flippant remarks that spring to mind when I read that your mother's not speaking to you - e.g. enjoy it while it lasts - could you go back a bit and explain how your mother came to be living with you? What were the good reasons for moving her in?
If those good reasons no longer apply, you are free to make changes after all; but it isn't clear that you want your mother to move out. Are you after her approval? Her happiness? Her appearing to be more appreciative and grateful? It may be that you will find her attitude and behaviour less hurtful if you make a few simple adjustments to your expectations of her. It involves hardening your nose a bit, I'm afraid.
PS I'm assuming that the lawyer/will thing is childish spite, more or less? Best response is "just as you please, dear mother" and carry on regardless.
Let me tell you something. Every 85-year-old on planet earth is narcissistic. For good reason.