Frustrated and sad! I am my dad's main caretaker, though I live in a different state. Over the last year, which was also the first year of my marriage, I've spent almost half my time away from my husband and career to get my dad's life in order and make sure he has care and that his needs are being met. It drains everything from me but I do it for love and care of him.
I took him for memory tests in January and he was diagnosed with early/mid Alzheimers. If you have been following my posts (if not, you can take a peek) I've had serious issues battling his 3 other adult children who came out of the woodworks after my stepmother passed and they caught wind of a small life insurance policy. Now, after being largely absent for decades (my father and their mother separated in the 60s when they were kids), they flatter and dote on him as in King Lear. He loves the attention. I am the one who actually does all the work and turns my life around for his care.
After spending two exhausting weeks this month with him, dealing with everything from flooding toilets to health care to soliciting and interviewing new housemates, etc. I left for a short and much needed self-care trip with a friend. A couple days later he emailed one of the other daughters saying something like "I've somehow alienated xxxx [me], and I won't be surprised if I don't hear from her on my birthday." This email was then circulated around to the 3, and even to my aunt, as if to say, "see, look how he's being neglected" or whatever narrative they like to spin about me.
I then asked him today, which is his birthday, why he would say such a thing and that it made me sad he thought that, and he said "I would never say something like that. I have no reason for saying it! They've never heard anything like that from me, that is positively certain!"
Bottom line, and I'd love to hear from those who have dealt with dementia moods and their loved one saying different things at different times to different people:
He says something dramatic and quite alarming to one person, then forgets and denies he said it a day later. Meanwhile it's created a rift and damage which richochets. This has been happening for months and it's horrible. Has anyone else dealt with something like this?