My Dad is in care but keeps asking to go home! What do I say?


He has been in a care home for 2 months, he has vascular dementia. We have said his flat is not there anymore, but he thinks he has been put in prison because he has been bad or done something wrong!!

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Another alternative is to tell her that you'll leave in a few days, few weeks, etc. as you need to get her house cleaned, pack her clothes, etc. Generally by the next morning she'll have forgotten your explanations so you can keep repeating them after you find a few that work.

It is sad though, and I know it's depressing to see this kind of confusion.
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It's not necessary to report the factual truth to him. Especially if it upsets him.
I tell my mom that she can't travel until the doctor says it's ok. She seems to calm down at that. When she asks "when will that be?" I say that I don't know. We'll ask the doctor again next week. Then she forgets.

It's not me telling her that her house is gone, or that I am not going to allow it.
It's also not a lie. The doctor is never going to clear her for travel 1800 miles!
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Suewalsh, those with dementia some times refer to "going home" meaning their childhood home, back when life was simpler and happier for them.
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This is very common with dementia and you just have to roll with it. Don't correct him or argue just reassure him and try to figure out HIS reality and play along if it calms him down. There's some good info on this site about the Take Me Home delusion. Find it and read up. Good luck to you.
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