So Dad goes to an Adult Day Center a couple of days a week, and today they informed me that he ran into an issue with another attendee over money.

From the sounds of it, one of his table mates gave Dad $20 and he put it in his wallet. Needless to say, money exchange among the elderly with memory issues is NOT a good thing. She later claimed that Dad took the money (she probably didn't remember giving it to him), and it caused a big to-do at the center.

Now both have been suspended for the rest of the week, and Dad does not understand AT ALL. I really don't know what to say to him. I don't think he deserves a reprimand, and trying to reason with him is pointless.

The only silver lining is that he will forget the ordeal.

I just don't want it to happen again.

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I totally agree. I think I may ask the director if there's a place where Dad and other attendees can store their money while they are there. Great idea!!!
Helpful Answer (4)

I agree. A reprimand makes no sense. And even if you prevent him from having some money in his wallet that wouldn't prevent someone else from giving him their money. Tough situation.

He is going to forget the whole incident. You don't have to tell him the suspension is a reprimand.

But, how to prevent this issue from coming up again? Since the day program is having a tough time with this, I wonder if they would consider having a locked cabinet where participants' wallets were stored while they were there? This would be for "safe keeping" and "to prevent identity theft." (My husband didn't quite understand what identity theft was, but he knew it was bad, and I could get him to leave his credit cards at home using that as a reason.)

It seems to me that if this program claims they can handle persons with dementia, they need to figure out how to deal with this problem, without expecting their participants to remember and follow their rules.
Helpful Answer (7)

I forgot to add he's gotten into hot water with money in the past. Once for counting it at the table. Thankfully, I only give him $1 bills to calm him down. He goes ballistic if he doesn't have "cash money" in his wallet. So every month, I just give him $20 in singles.

The second time was because he was giving money out to anyone who asked. I've tried to get him to leave his wallet at the ALF, but its his security blanket. Trying to take it does more harm than good....
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