My mom moved in with us 6 weeks ago after my dad died in March. She is medically fragile, uses a walker and gets dialysis 3x a week. She really wants to be independent, which I understand, but she is offering help to carry things, to cook meals, lots of things. Unfortunately she cannot help in most cases. What ends up happening is that she then asks someone to come get things for her, to move things, to put things back and becomes too worn out to clean up after herself. In many cases, its easier to do things our selves. She needs to feel needed, but is making a lot more work.
I feel sad part of the time, she's overwhelmed with the changes that have happened, most not of her choice. We offer her choices and she is overwhelmed. But if we don't ask her what she wants she gets her feelings hurt.
She desires the independence, but needs help to be safe. Her emotional responses are more like a 7-11 year old rather than a grown woman.
I knew there would be adjustments to make, but I find myself feeling frustrated most of the time. I don't want the end of her life to be remembered by feelings of frustration and it'll get harder before she's gone. What did you do to become more understanding, more tolerant, and accepting?