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Take care of yourself now, please!
Carol
Are your children in frequent contact? Are they aware of what shape their father is in? What part of the situation might come as a surprise to them?
What kind of placement are you considering for him? Would you like your children to get involved in helping to find an appropriate facility?
If it is at all possible, I would suggest a family meeting. If one child can't come because of distance, consider a speaker phone for their participation. Gather some materials beforehand, such as pamplets about the kind of dementia he has, information about placement options, a list of the medications he is on, a list of the doctor appointments he has had, the things you have done to try to remedy the situation, etc. Try to be very matter-of-fact about what he has done to you. Make it clear that you know he is not acting in his right mind and you are not blaming him or punishing him. You simply need to do what needs to be done. If you think this might be a difficult or confrontational meeting, perhaps you can involve a professional, such as a social worker, to help facilitate it.
Of course you want your children to understand and to accept and support your decision. Keep in mind, though, that it is your decision. You would like their blessing but you do not need their permission.
I sincerely hope that your children rally around and support your decision and also support their father in any way they can.
Come back and tell us how this works out. We care.
You will need help if he continues to live with you, so muster up your strenth and get it over with and tell them the truth and your feelings.