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Okay, so I received a call requesting 5 year bank statements for my father at his nursing home. I just got my father a few months he can’t speak or coherent so I honestly have no way of getting that information. Since he’s been with me he doesn’t have a bank account. He gets a $200 monthly pension. Pending social security and Medicare. Can the nursing home or Medicaid disqualify him for long term care because I don’t have that information or because he don’t have a bank?

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Tell the courts exactly what you have told us and get him a court appointed guardian.

The idea isn't to wisk people away from their family and friends, it is to ensure that someone is getting the care they need.

If you say that you still care and want to visit they aren't going to say no, you just don't have any say about where he goes and what care he receives. Which is what you are trying to get out from under.

This will get sorted out, remain calm and continue to say he is not safe to come to your home.

I can't imagine how they expect a virtual stranger to get this information. I would have been in the same situation with my dad. I had no clue about his life and his exwife would have lied just to screw things up for him.

Breathe! Hugs! You can do this!
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Chacaretoomuch8 Nov 2019
Aww thank you!
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The NH is trying to get 5 yrs of statements for Medicaid application. He must have had a bank where he previously lived. If your his conservator you can contact them and ask for 5 yrs back. The time in between maybe you can show how much he gets in SS and pension. Really, what do they do when they become guardians to someone who has no family and the person suffers from Dementia.

Or, if you can find out where the bank is, give the NH the info and let them request the info. They may have more clout.
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Chacaretoomuch8 Nov 2019
He only gets pension and it comes on a prepaid card or something. I’ve sent them paperwork previously to order him a new card and they wouldn’t do it. They won’t let me do nothing on his behalf. I’ve complained and everything. They said they needed to speak with him after I told them and showed the documentation he couldn’t speak and that’s why I was put in place. I thought being a conservator I could basically help him since he couldn’t do for himself but I’m learning that piece of paper don’t hold much weight. I couldn’t get any information from the money the place that his $200 go on. I called them so much it was ridiculous. The social security office expects me to go figure out where some wages they see from last year Is coming from. Until then his case is going to be pending unless I become a Genie. The nursing home wants me to shit out some bank information about a person I didn’t know much about let alone his finances. But like you said there has got to be in exception in cases like this.. What do they do with people with dementia and whom have no guardian? The only thing I can do is give them his Old prepaid card information and let them go figure it out but then they probably won’t take him.. But I’m not going to stress about it. I can’t give them something I don’t have nor know where to begin.. He has Medicaid and was approved but I guess it’s a different application for long term care Medicaid. I know he was approved for nursing home care a few months ago and he didn’t have any bank information then that went back 5 years. I wasn’t his conservator then.
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Yes, guardianship by the county means they will place him where they can without your opinion. If you don't like how far away it is, I think you can give them this input and make a case for moving him closer. He will be in a shared Medicaid room and there aren't that many. You will be able to carry on with him, you just won't be making medical or financial decisions for him. My stepFIL was a ward of the county. He was placed in a local NH and we saw him as much as we wanted. His appointed guardian would call us to ask what food he liked, music, comforts, etc. We bought him clothes and other amenities. Anytime we thought of something he would like, we were totally able to call or email the guardian to communicate this. They just wouldn't divulge financial info. We had no more access to any of his accounts. They become an extension of him, acting in his best interests. They let us know when he was close to passing so we could bring my MIL to be with him. They didn't interfere. We didn't have a service/funeral for him (too long a story) but I'm sure they would have let us. Not sure who would have paid for that (probably the family if I had to guess). Then they had him cremated and gave us possession of his remains. In our experience, it's not an option to be feared -- it's a blessing for a lot of people.
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worriedinCali Nov 2019
If he becomes a ward of the state then the family doesn’t get to give their input. He’ll go wherever they send him even if the family thinks it’s too far.
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CHandel, you WANT him to be a ward of the state! That's how he gets care! The social workers ( or whomever is saying this to you) are playing you.
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Chanoel, my eye just fell on your remark that you're reluctant to allow your father to be made a ward of state because then he'll have no one - not so!

As a ward of the state, your father would have the same right to contact with his family and friends as any other citizen, and his state-appointed guardian would have a duty to facilitate it. So don't let that worry put you off, is all I mean.
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Chacaretoomuch8 Nov 2019
Oh ok I didn’t know that.. Thank you for that information. I had seen someone on here say that once a family is in the custody of the State then they don’t have to tell you anything. But if I can’t help him after this then that’s going to be my only option. Because they’re giving me a hard time. Even the social security place wants me to mysteriously go find his wages that was a year ago and his stuff is pending till I figure it out. All I do is repeat myself telling them he can’t talk or write. I have no way of knowing. I just got him months ago from the hospital. They don’t tell me where he worked Im just suppose to guess. Smh.. I’ll be glad when all this over.. They gave me good news just to take it away..
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Just keep saying "no, I can't possibly provide the care he needs".
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Chacaretoomuch8 Nov 2019
Ok thank you!
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CHanoel, you need to talk to the business office at the NH about this. Having read your previous posts, you have ZERO responsibility for your dad, so saying "I have no idea about his finances, you need to ask HIM" is what you need to do. There are plenty of social workers out there who are going to try to guilt you into taking hom home. Just keep saying " no, I cant possibly do that, he is putting my children in danger".
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Chacaretoomuch8 Nov 2019
Ok thank you! I had got my hopes up that he’s finally out my hair and is going to get the help he needs. I have no way of giving them that information all I know is when he came in my house he had nothing but $200. I had tried to open up him a bank account because he has pending disability but I found out at the bank I was trying to open up they denied him because the teller said she pulled up that he owed a bank $1000.00 so I couldn’t even open him one.. I’m trying so hard not to take my name off conservator because the State will take him and he’ll have no one and I know he wasn’t there for me growing up and still did me wrong but I just want to be able to check on him, bring him stuff, and I don’t know.. But this is just too much..
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