I am the primary agent on the durable POA for healthcare for my mother. I have strong evidence (from the facility and others' observations) that overnight visits by my mother at one particular sibling's house causes her distress and it takes days for her to return to "normal". Can I instruct the facility to not let this particular sibling (or anyone, for that matter) take Mom out for overnight visits? I've received conflicting answers on this from different county government workers in the department that deals with elder care.

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Arnie, from what I have heard or read, taking a love one out for overnight is not recommended when they are living in Memory Care, so you are doing the right thing. It just rattles their routine, and like the facility says, it can take days to get that love one back to normal.

Thus, time to let the family know that because of the advancement of Mother's Alzheimer's it is best to not take her out of the facility for any reason, except for doctor appointments. If someone grumbles, just tell them outright that the facility has a difficult time with Mother days afterwards, and it's not fair to Mom, nor the Staff.

County government workers are not hands-on caregivers, thus the variety of answers. Too bad they all can't be on the same page. More training is needed for them.

If the relatives start making a really big fuss, ask the Memory Care to set up a group meeting with the Staff and the relatives, and let the Memory Care explain why Mom cannot leave the facility.
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