My father's wife passed away several years algo and he went to live with his step daughter in New York. Once his Alzheimer's progressed she put him in a home in Florida. My sister and I asked her to send him to us in puerto Rico but since she has a durable power of attorney she decided to send him to a home in Florida even though my sister and I were willing to have him here in Puerto Rico . After a few months he was evicted from the home because of aggressive behavior. She then brought him to puerto Rico and deposited him in a home and left. She informed me after she left of his new residence via text message. I have been his primary care giver since,about 6 months. My father is a retired military officer and also retried fromt he federal goverment. She pays for the home and has sent me. A total of $300 in that time. Is there any way to revoke her power of atterny? I feel that she gas abandoned him and is using his money for her enjoyment.

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I am so glad you are looking after your father's needs in this terrible time. I imagine that the staff of many homes cannot do their jobs properly with no electricity and limited resources. Your father is lucky to have you.

I think you have gotten the main thing you wished for your father -- the opportunity to be near him and interact personally with him. Celebrate that!

You also, naturally, want to see his financial resources managed in a way that they will last him as long as possible. Consider that your father lived with your step sister for several years, and that he trusted her sufficiently to give her DPOA. If his behavior was such that he was asked to leave the facility he was in, clearly he needed more care than she could provide. Finding a suitable home for him was responsible of her. Naturally she wanted him somewhere she could visit him.

If Dad was paying her for room and board and care while he was living with her, that was appropriate. Using his money to pay for his care now is appropriate. Giving you money out of his funds for your expenses in caring for him is kind, but not legally required.

Have you asked her for more money to help him in these difficult times?

If possible, maintaining a civil relationship with this woman who has spent years looking after your father would benefit everyone.
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Apologies, I'm not familiar with Santos Domingo - what is the purpose of her trips to this place? And if they're not related to your father's care, how do you know she is using his money and not her own to fund the travel?

In your position, the important thing is to keep in contact with your step sister so that you can raise any concerns about your father's care with her. But as long as she is safeguarding his finances correctly, and as long as she is reimbursing you for any money you have to lay out for him (keep receipts and send them to her), then she isn't doing anything wrong.

I am sorry to hear that you're still struggling with the hurricane aftermath, it must make life extremely difficult and especially for people with hands-on care tasks to do. Have you tried asking your stepsister for help with this specifically? For example, perhaps she could agree to extra sets of clothing and/or bed linen, or laundry services if you can find one that's functioning.

Talk to her! And, by the way, there is absolutely nothing wrong with her paying for the home using his money - that is the correct thing to do.
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You have a point in what you are saying. I might not be the the one paying for the home that he in but she is not paying either, he is! And there is more than $3000 left over. She does not work and takes regular trips to Santos Domingo. It makes me suspicious of how much she is thinking of him. Since he has been here she has not spoken to him once. I could be wrong and i hope I am but I don't think that she is thinking of him at all. Eventhough the home is the primary care giver I am the one giving him attention and love. Here in pr especialy with the conditions after maria, people left in homes that don't have regular visitors will not be treated well at all. If I were to not go for A couple of weeks Nd show up unannounced I know I would find him in very bad condition to say the least. It is sad but true. The whole island is without electricity I have been taking his cloths home with me and washing them by hand because the home just is not doing it's job.
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What is your evidence that she is using his money for her own enjoyment? That is a serious accusation, and if true a serious violation of her duty as POA. In fact, it is a crime. If you have knowledge that this is happening, you should pursue it, to ensure that your father's money is continuously available for his care. But if this is just a vague suspicion, I suggest you don't let it interfere with your relationship with your step-sister. It would be best if you could all work together on your father's behalf.

If your father is competent to change his POA to you (and he wants to), what would improve for him?

BTW, how is your family coping with the aftermath of Hurricane Maria?
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I don't think paying for his care costs = the stepdaughter enjoying herself with his money.

I imagine she moved him from Florida to P.R. for two reasons - 1, to make his money last longer, because presumably the fees are considerably cheaper; and 2, so that he could see more of his biological children - isn't that what you wanted in the first place? Those are both excellent reasons. If she is covering your out-of-pocket expenses as well as ensuring that the care home bills are met, what's the problem?
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I am not sure I’m understanding the situation.

You say your stepsister is paying “the home” but that you are his primary caregiver.

Is your father living in some sort of nursing home and you are visiting and looking after his welfare there?


Is your father living with you but your stepsister is still paying a different place - the place she first put him in Puerto Rico?
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A DPOA can be changed by your father at any time he wishes if he is competent to revoke the one in place and sign another. Failing that competency then a guardianship of your father could be filed for which would be stronger than the DPOA. Since the laws in New York/Florida and the laws in Puerto Rico might be different on this subject you should seek the aid of an elder attorney for guidance. Since he is a resident of PR now and not Florida or New York  that might have some bearing in your favor. Since she pays for his care each month the grounds of abandonment might be difficult to prove.
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