Follow
Share

Updating on my question from a little while ago about what to do regarding my dad's scary behavior which includes living in a house packed to the gills with guns and Hitler adoration. I called Florida APS today. I was scared to leave my personal info but they assured me it would be kept confidential. I still didn't do it because he could probably figure out on his own it was me who called on him. However, I might call back after talking to my wife and therapist about it. APS told me they would enter a report on him in their system and keep it on file. They said it could be useful if they got other calls on him. However, they wouldn't launch their own investigation since there was no allegation of direct abuse or neglect of a senior. I don't think he's physically abusing my mom. They also said that the police might be interested to know about the arsenal of guns. I'm not sure how many are properly registered or stored and I'm pretty sure they'd find more than a few violations. He buys them up at gun shows and flips them for fun and profit and I think there are some assault rifles in there. I know this is a bizarre and shocking set of facts to consider. I'm still not sure what to do. My goal is to see him get better medical care and hopefully start acting more "normally" but I don't know who his doctor is and can't find out since I've been estranged from both parents for almost a year and live far away in another state. My goal isn't to get him taken to jail and I do worry a bit about him getting into a firefight with an investigator who comes to the door. I know they're trained in that sort of thing but so is he as an ex-cop. I'm afraid whatever I do will backfire on me or someone else in a horrible way, especially if the cops go to his house and he charms them or doesn't have anything illegal lying in plain view.

Find Care & Housing
I don’t know how these situations are best handled.

I agree that alerting the police is the right thing to do.

I am so sorry that you are faced with this terrible predicament.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
Report

You've been given this advice before, so here it is again. Call the local police dept where he lives and let them know what's happening with dad. Tell them he has dementia, a ton of firearms, a bad temper, a poster of Hitler over his bed and that you're very concerned he may go ballistic in the near future. That's it. Then let it go. It's not for you to worry about how things proceed from there. This is not the first time the police have had a report like this to deal with, and it won't be the last. How they choose to deal with it is up to them. You will have done your civic duty by reporting your concerns to the authorities and then you can do no more. You cannot fix this, or protect your mother, or reverse the dementia your father is suffering from. But you may save someone from getting hurt if the police decide to pay him a visit.

I know how hard this must be for you. But I think you feel in your heart it's the right thing to do, in case God forbid he's on the verge of losing his composure even more and wreaking havoc. Even APS said the police would likely be interested to know a demented elder has an arsenal of firearms in his possession, right? They may order a psych evaluation and that is the medical intervention you desire. Maybe they can't or won't do anything since no crime has been committed, who knows? Call and find out, it's all you can do.

Good luck and God bless.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to lealonnie1
Report

Aside from his unsavory memorabilia collection, would you consider him a hoarder in general? Are you only really concerned about the guns and Nazi stuff? He hasn't committed a crime. You don't indicate he can no longer care adequately for himself or his wife. You don't seem to indicate you're his PoA or guardian. What is it that you want to have happen? You've already alerted APS and that's all the power you have.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Geaton777
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter