My mother is in a health care facility across the world. She's in the US and I'm in Australia. I've been here for 12 years but my mom's dementia has slowly progressed over the past 4 years or so. She's been in her care facility for 3 years.
We communicate via Facetime a lot and I try to fly home to visit about every 2 years.
My last visit with my mother was in Dec2018 for Xmas into Jan. 2019.
Now for the last 6 months or so, she's been calling me asking me when I'm coming to pick her up, did I leave my car with her etc. She thinks I'm still there in the states with her so when she rings me, the first words out of her mouth are "where are you?" so I have to remind her. And we talk for about 5 or so minutes and she's back to reality.
I record our conversations so that I can see how her dementia is progressing and how quickly.
At this stage reality is a bit blended with non-reality where as I could bring her back and there was a distinct difference between the two.
Any advice on how I can get her to come back to reality without her having to call me?

I think I am looking for other like minded individuals who are struggling with their parents being in either a different state or country but having to handle their parent.

I'm 54 in a few weeks time. My mom just turned 78. I am an only child but my mom has nieces in the same city.

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sorry, nieces are not the same as her child, YOU. If she doesn't have you, she really has nobody to trust in a way, unless you are extremely close to your cousins. Sadly, tag you are it since you are the only child..
take care of your mom as best you can. phone calls facetime, etc does not compare to the person being there... why is she in one country and you in another? that's for you to to answer, in your mind. don't answer here. and another question for your head, in any way, can she live near you.. one of my motos is; location, location, and location.
to sum it up: she is not as close to her nephews or nieces as she is to you. you are her child.. see? this connection comes with love, connection, maternal love unconditional love... the pond is not far enough away to break that bond. tag, you are it... this is the rollercoaster of dementia/ALZ.. it does not get better. but i kept my family very close to me so I can keep my eye on them. my best friend from age 2 is doing the same with her geriatrics too. she is gathering all of them into the same facility, hopefully soon. her grand aunt, 96 is on east cost, friend is near west coast. she is bringing her closer to home so, she can be close to her, and her cousin, etc... it's good to have geriatrics close to you.
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I dealt with being in Florida and my mom in Indiana for a couple years where I started to see the cognitive decline. She was living independently until September last year. I'm an only child and no other family. That is good you are documenting the stages.

I moved her here in October and to assisted living. She was used to me being in Florida and still thought she was in Indiana so I left it as that. Thing to remember, she may not always do that "snap back" later on. As it gets worse, they don't remember conversation even a couple hours even minutes..My mom currently thinks I'm still married, asks about my ex husband from 30 years ago, and asks about her house from 40 years. I go with it, because it makes her happy at that moment.

Again most times she forgets anyway. There were alot of things I did not know about, when she lived independently, I figured just because we talked daily I would always know when the time came she'd come live with me and I'd take care of her.
. She didn't have a computer and too hard of hearing for a cellphone.Just be sure you ask her alot of questions so you know as much as you can.

Redirecting my mom at the nursing home, is a godsend as she gets worse. Sorry you have this as well, with your loved one.
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