Follow
Share

Two live near parents, one works for parents and others are half hour away. Needless to say, the two who live down the street are over there constantly and my parents have given them POA and co executor assignments. The rest of us do not feel comfortable with this arrangement. What is best recourse while maintaining harmony in the family?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
One good way to build family harmony would be for the three siblings to ask the two how you could help them. I think your parents would be happier seeing all five of you work together! Being a POA and executor is no cake walk. Believe me, I was all three.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

AC has an article about sibling conflict regarding the POA decision: https://www.agingcare.com/articles/family-fights-over-power-of-attorney-153319.htm

I would want my medical POA as close as possible geographically. And I would want to be sure that person understood my healthcare directive and would be comfortable carrying it out.

I think geographical proximity would be best for legal/financial DPOA too, but maybe not as critical. That person ideally has his or her own financial affairs in order.

POAs don't have to be related at all. In my caregiver support group one woman had her husband assign their son's best friend as the medical POA. Both the son and his friend were doctors. She thought the friend could be more objective and less stressed by the duty.

Executor is such a thankless job. If there was one child I didn't like I might assign it to them. (But I like all my kids.)

The POA and executor roles are duties and responsibilities. I could see kids fighting NOT to be named to one of those roles, but I don't understand them fighting over having the role.

Why don't you feel comfortable with your parent's choices?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

We must remember, it is the parent's choice as to whom they want as their Power of Attorney and Executor of the Estate.

I remember reading on the forum a couple years ago, parents had chosen their son to be their financial Power of Attorney, a son who had no idea how to handle money..... and had overlooked their own daughter who was a CPA.   Well, that was a generation thing, where the parents thought the male was smarter about money.

If I was the parent, I would choose the medical Power of Attorney to the adult child who would work best in a medical emergency, who had a cool head, and knew what questions to ask.   With another adult child or children as a back-up medical POA if the first child was unable to serve, or to work as a team.

For the financial Power of Attorney, I would choose the adult child who I saw could handle money, and where accounting was easy for that child.   Plus having another adult child as the back-up or work as a team.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Why are the other three of you upset when you are not there and directly involved? The person who is durable and medical POA needs to be nearby which those to are. The executor does not need to be nearby although it would help when it comes to probating the will. Anyhow all these decisions are your parents' right to decide. Do the rest of you think the other two manipulated your parents into making these decisions? Sounds to me like there is a trust or control issue here. Anyway, I might be wrong, but this is my opinion.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.