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My family has been living with grandparents in their home for 20 years. Both of my brothers and sister have moved out, it’s just me and my mom. My uncle also moved in 10 years ago when he got a divorce. My mom has paid bills and paid for groceries. My uncle never paid for anything until recently when he started paying rent. I have been the caregiver for grandparents for the past 5 years. My grandpa had passed away about a year ago. My grandma has dementia. My mom is one of 8 kids, and 4 of the 8 have petitioned for guardianship, and trying to say my mom stole from them, and took advantage of them. My mom had POA, but the judge had given temporary guardianship to my aunt. My mom hasn’t done anything to stand up and fight back, she thinks there is nothing she can do. And now she is wanting to move out. I know us leaving grandma is going to be really hard on her, and she will decline a lot. I’m feeling depressed and guilty about leaving. I can’t just leave grandma. I am at a loss on what to do.

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In most cases your mom is wrong. An appearance in court has considerable weight.
In most areas at least one and sometimes two letters from a doctor/doctors is required to declare the person to be incompetent before full guardianship is granted.
nearly all guardians must account for every dime of the wards money with extensive paperwork, receipts, and accounting.
I have heard that some jurisdictions will appoint a lawyer to represent the ward in court.
I suggest you look into all of this and help MOM.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to OldSailor
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I wonder who you are the most concerned about, your grandmother, your mother or yourself. It sounds like there are plenty of people available to care for grandma. It also sounds like your mom wants out. She will probably be upset about moving out of grandma’s house, but it may be a relief to her as well. Dealing with a toxic family is stressful and she might suffer more decline if she stays. It might not be a bad idea for you to get your own place and make a life for yourself as well.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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Wilson, I'm sorry that you are in this situation.

Are you saying that your MOM is going to decline when you all leave, or GMA is going to decline?

Does MOM want to get guardianship of gma? Or does she want to move out and get on with her life.

Moving doesn't mean that you're abandoning gma. Is there a reason you don't think you'll be able to visit her?
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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