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My aunt and mother were talking yesterday and my aunt has said that she is moving back to Cleveland. My parents, me and grandmother all live in the Cleveland area. We are hoping that it really happens because we do need another set of eyes with my grandmother. My aunt is starting to make plans to be up here by June but needs time to get her affairs in order (selling the house and stuff like that). The problem is becoming my cousins. They are making a stink about her moving. They are saying that our grandmother doesn't need another pair of eyes, she has us, what about holidays, we need a babysitter. The thing is that all of them have moved away, have good paying jobs. My cousins couldn't be bothered to come to Cleveland to see their grandmother in at least 20 years. Spring break? I am going skiing instead of seeing my grandmother and other family. My parents and I can't afford to see them in Texas a lot but make an effort to talk to them over the phone. I don't understand why they are being bratty about this. We do need help with my grandmother. I just hope that my cousins don't talk my aunt out of this. My aunt did ask about a job at the company that I work at and I said there seem to be openings everywhere.

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Hi evermore99! Your grandmother is lucky to have you, wow! You have your plate full. You may want to reach out to a senior living advisor, they may have some local resources for you and your family that may be helpful now or in the near future, especially if your cousins talk your Aunt out of moving. Caregiver stress is real! Take care of yourself, you deserve it!
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Your cousins are worried about losing access to their mother, since they haven't had any kind of connection in over 20 years they could care less about their grandmother and the rest of you.
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Your cousins opinions match their past behaviors which seems to amount to worthless. I also had cousins who had all sorts of opinions when I moved my mother into AL. I live 40 miles from NYC but they thought she should stay in the city and I should travel in to deal with her. That didn't happen. They said I was making myself more important by doing things for her. I barely speak to them anymore. Do what is best for the situation and don't include cousins opinions. It never ceases to amaze how some family can be so utterly self centered.
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Stop worrying about what your cousins say or think or do or don’t do and let your aunt handle them. They are her kids, she’s a grown-up and it’s up to her to plant her foot up their bratty backsides. It doesn’t involve you. Keep your own council and be happy that your aunt is doing the right thing and coming to help with her mother. When she gets up here, don’t grill her about her kids or put them down to her. It’s her business.
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One cousin lives in College Station, one lives in California and the youngest lives in Washington state. My aunt is mad at the California one because my aunt helped with the down payment of a duplex then not even a year later, cousin and wife bolted to California. But my aunt has stated that she is really sick of Texas and wants to move back to Cleveland. She just needs a little bit of time to get the duplex thing straightened out. My cousins put up a stink with holidays. My aunt pretty much said that they are going to have to buy tickets and celebrate holidays here. My grandmother has done quite a bit for them when my cousins were younger. They aren't liking the fact that things and people change.
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My parents were the sole caregivers for my grandmother. She lived with them the whole time.

After 15 years, they decided to take a 4 day vacation....my uncle and his kids were to take care of grandma.

When they returned, they found grandma on the floor of her bedroom...broken shoulder and sever dehydration. No one came to help her the whole time!

My uncle and his kids (cousins) only got involved when Mom said they were moving out (even though it was their house), and they could then take care of grandma from then on. The family powwow was full of anger and nasty advice for my parents...but..not one of them offered to actually show up and help.

When the day came...my uncle moved grandma into a nursing home. Not one of those worthless people ever helped her or visited her.

My advice....ignore the cousins. Tell them off it is helps. Talk to your aunt and make sure she knows how much her help means to you all and to grandma.
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cwillie Feb 2019
OMG, that's a horrible story Katiekate☹️
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your cousins need their mom too, you know. I wouldn’t be happy if my mom left me either. I don’t know about your cousins, but I also wouldn’t be happy if my mom was caught in the middle like this. But I can honestly say I would be upset if she moved far away from my children and myself.
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