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I've researched with no clear answers. Info about POAs address 'family members' and discuss parent-child or MIL, FIL issues. We went thru a rough patch a few yrs back. My wife gave her alcoholic son a DPOA and of course he abused it and stole over $62K of her retirement funds. We fixed all that and He's now dead. I am now the full-time caregiver for her, but she won't even discuss a POA being afraid to get hurt again. Over the years, we both have built up finances to cover future care so paying for care is not an issue. I realize I'm in a pickle for her future care, but JUST WHAT ARE MY RIGHTS as her husband concerning decisions for her future care? I AM her agent on her Healthcare Directive.

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You tell us what happened to your wife with her son.
And you tell us that she is now afraid to give ANYONE a POA.
The sad truth is that it is too late for your wife to confer POA upon you if she is not legally competent to do so.

As you don't have POA, and it seems your wife is unable to confer it (meaning she is suffering from dementia) you currently have no way to obtain a POA. I would see an elder law attorney to discuss guardianship. Take with you any and all documents that have been conferred upon you regarding your wife's competency to act on her own behalf, or lack of same.

I wish you the best.
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As long as you can pay the bills and her care then I think the Medical will be enough. POA gives a person the ability to get to a persons finances when that person has been found incompetent. My husband and I share our checking acct so his and my SS and pensions are deposit together so I can access that money anytime. For our IRAs we r each others beneficiaries but not sure if I could access his IRA if I needed to. Our investments are in both our names.
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As her spouse you probably would have been given the authority to act on her behalf for medical issues even without a formal document, it's the financial side that is going to be much more difficult without being named as POA. Of course you would still have access to any jointly held accounts, so that may be the simplest way to go if she won't consider naming a POA.
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