My 81 year old father came to live with me and my family early this year. My mother died three years ago and she was the one that did all of the finances. Once she got sick and eventually died my father started spending money like water. He does not have a debit card or anything so he would remove thousands at a time to pay bills in person, groceries, constantly go out to eat, etc. I believe he also liked flashing cash to all the women he was trying to date at the local senior center.
Now he’s living with me because he ran out of money to live on his own at least in a large home and all of the expenses that entails. He currently gets his social security and has maybe $1,000 left in the bank and one CD for $10,000. Last month he fell at my house and broke his patella. Two surgeries (he refused to sit still at rehab and fell and needed another surgery to fix it again) later and I’m applying him for Medicaid to help pay for the rehab. He has been at rehab since he fell, he has Blue cross for insurance but a huge daily copay for the rehab facility which will totally stop paying after 100 days.
I applied for the community based Medicaid but I’m concerned he may never be able to move back to my house. He was extremely unstable standing and walking even with a walker and this hasn’t improved since the injury. Even with 24/7 staff they can’t get to him fast enough to take him to the bathroom without him trying to get up on his own and usually falling in the process. Did I mention he has extreme anxiety that so far medication hasn’t made a dent in? He has always been extremely hyper, paranoid and anxious my whole life.
I think the best place for him to live long term would be in an assisted living situation, if he would even go for that. I don’t think I would be able to provide him enough supervision for him to be safe. Example: The day before his second surgery I brought him to my house so he could visit with his cat that I have adopted for him. I went to make him a snack and in the span of maybe four minutes he got up and fell and crashed into a TV tray smashing it to pieces and landing on the floor. I should also mention he is on blood thinners so falling for him is extremely serious. He is also painfully thin (has been all his life). He eats like a horse so I have no idea what’s going on with that.
However with his reckless spending habits over the years I have zero chance of figuring out where a lot of the money he has taken out of the bank has gone. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!