Are there "stages" of accepting that you're dying?
Like stages of grief....?
I'm sure some never accept it. What I'm seeing is like Mom is on an emotional roller coaster.
She's wanting to live to, see her grandkids grow up. Then, to see them just one more time. Lately it's, "I just can't take this anymore." Sometimes it's, "I just want to be normal again." The hardest to hear is the, "I just want to go to sleep and never wake up."
This struggle is real. She's looked in my eyes and said, "I'm really dying right?" Other times I get, "I don't want to die."
The beautiful ones are when she's holding my hand and she catches me crying, she'll perk right up and sternly say, "No no I'll bounce back, don't cry, it WILL be ok." (Hey all, meet my Mom!) Yeah, totally Mom mode there.
Just wondering if she'll come to accept she's dying. I guess no one really knows since everyone is different.
I'm so mad, I want to put my head through a wall! I want to curse, scream, cry, throw sh*t, throw up and howl.....yeah I actually want to howl!!!
(Speaking of an emotional roller coaster)