My MIL has been with us since mid November. It was contentious for me for awhile because I felt that I wasn't given an option in the decision that she come stay with us. After a few tense months, I was able to get her into In-Home Care with Carter Healthcare, and a semi reliable aide who came twice a week to bathe her. I did the long nights for awhile, (she has a habit of getting up and down all night, she has a buzzer around her neck to use for emergencies, but typical of her selfish personality she uses it at 2 am for a cup or tea) eventually I told my husband I was moving back to Kansas, with out youngest son, and he gave up his job of 26 years to come home and take care of his own mother. He has seen first hand what the nights are like, for example last night at 1 am when she had already hit the button 3 times in 30 minutes, my husband finally told her. "I'm going to bed mom, I'll see you in the morning, I hope you can get yourself into bed." (He said this because he asked her 3 times to please lay down and try to go to sleep and she just wanted to sit in her chair, her bed is literally 2 steps away from her chair) Woke up at 5am, she was in her bed, I don't know if she was able to get in by herself, or she woke up one of my kids to help her. (as I said, extremely selfish lady, who see's nothing wrong with waking up a 16 yr old at 1 am for help) She's not going to get better, her PT from Carter has only done half workouts with her because she keeps falling, because once again, she will NOT use a bedside commode. (She is very selfish, and takes her need for modesty to a whole new level) My husband and I have a deal, (a kinda mother vs marriage type deal) that when she goes back to her PCP in May that we want to ask if he will sign off on her to go to In-Home Hospice. But my husband, keeps saying he doesn't want people coming in and doping her up, strapping her to beds, and catheters. He just wants her to be able to do what she wants until it's her time to go. (She's his mom, so he has HUGE, TITANIC size blinders). When I broached the subject with her nurse from Carter, I was told in Florida, that they do not offer hospice, that it would have to be another provider, and I get this gut feeling that they want to keep re-certifying her for their services, not recommend services that would take her out of their care plans. I have read in many different places on the internet that most families regret not calling in Hospice sooner. Does anyone have any advice or articles they could suggest that I could show my husband as to what EXACTLY In-Home Hospice is/isn't and try to explain to him that they are there to make her days comfortable and let her pass in a way that's dignified for Mom? Any help is greatly appreciated and I thank you for your time, patience, and energy in this matter.