My 83 year old Dad was placed under hospice care at home last month. My 81 year old Mom is his primary care giver. Does hospice offer over night care? - AgingCare.com

My 83 year old Dad was placed under hospice care at home last month. My 81 year old Mom is his primary care giver. Does hospice offer over night care?

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She does have help from my brother and uncle that live near. Sometimes my dad will go up to 3 days with diarrhea and my mom can't handle changing and cleaning him. Does hospice have helpers that will come during those times? Also dad has started getting up at night and trying to walk to the bathroom. He fell recently and had to crawl back to his room. He wakes mom up at night and she really needs her sleep. Does hospice offer over night care? Thank you for your help. Mom is really worn out, but willingly does all she can to help dad.

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We were told that my dad had 2 weeks, three at the most. He lasted nine weeks. My mom took care of him ( also age 83 at the time). We wore herself out with similar problems. She was afraid that he would fall at night so she slept very little. My mother has always been very controlling and a perfectionist and this did not cure her. She refused help from her kids, refused to leave him ( she would allow us to go do errands for her) and was very irritated with the hospice workers who according to her didn't know how to do anything right. The situation became so bad that I at one point thought of reporting her to aps . She got so stern with my dad. My point is to keep an eye out for over fatigue because it can cause any personality faults to amplify .
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How are your brother and uncle helping with his care? Maybe, they could divide it up or alternate in shifts to care for him, so your mom could take a break. I'd try to get outside help too. It's not good for a woman in her 80's to have to perform that kind of work. IT's just outrageous, imo.
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Hi Barbara Lee,
I am so sorry that you are going through this difficult time.
Years ago I was an in-patient hospice RN. But we had a division of the service that visited patients at home (where most hospice care is given). I would encourage you to call the Hospice organization and ask for a social worker (maybe an intake worker) to come and evaluate.
Hospice is supposed to be of service to the entire family and so your mother's well-being should be on their radar. They should be able to connect her with services to help, also with home health equipment such as bed rails, even an alarm pad that goes under the sheet and lets your mother know if your dad is getting out of bed.
I do not know the financial situation, but if at all possible I would recommend some help in the home to give your mother a break. There are agencies that you can contract for a couple of hours a day. An aide can come and do the bathing and changing sheets, and give your mom a chance to go get her hair done!
Best of luck to you,
Margaret
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