Let me start by saying upfront, I am very frustrated! My elderly mother is 98 and lives in assisted living. She has age related dementia and no signs of Alzheimer. She is fairly mobile and active. She has hearing aides but refuses to wear them. She is and always has been difficult, rude, and demanding. Before the coronavirus quarantine, I hired someone to come in the mornings and “help” her get ready for the day. She will not ask the staff for help because she prefers her “own” staff! She has never expressed her emotions and is a loner and basically cold and unfriendly. She was/is very distant and detached to me as well. Due to the quarantine, we can’t visit her. My brother and I try and call her just to say hello and stay in touch. She either doesn’t answer after 20 rings or if she does answer can’t understand what we say. We have told her this is our only means of communication. We are both very frustrated. She doesn’t seem to care one way or the other and makes no attempt to call us. Actually, she has never said I miss y’all, how are you, etc. Her caretaker actually used her phone to do a video for us and and all she said was, “ I’m ok, I’m out here, I have 3 meals a day, and told us goodbye. Caregiver asked if there was anything else she wanted to say and after thinking a minute she said, “GOOD LUCK YO YOU!” Are you kidding me??? Those could very well have been her very last words to us!!! If she doesn’t care, why do I care so much and feel guilty not calling To say hello and check in with her? Any suggestions for how to “let it go” would be appreciated! I KNOW She is NOT going to change so I am beating a dead horse! I KNOW I’m the one w/the problem, I just think I can’t accept it! When ever I tell her how frustrating it is for me, ask why she never asks how we are, says she misses seeing us, God forbid Loves us, she says I just don’t ever think about it! Have any of you experienced this before, I know it can’t be the first case! How did you cope? Please don’t beat me up, I do a good job of that myself. However, I can take constructive criticism. Maybe I should just call 1/wk and if answers ok, if not, let it go. AL facility will call me if she becomes ill or dies. Need to stop writing. Many thanks in advance.