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Hi, I'm looking for some type of Behavior Agreement or Contract. My mother is being told to move in with us. She has a tendency to punish us by refusing to eat or take her meds, etc. She's diabetic, on insulin and antidepressants. I'd like to propose a "Welcome Home", here are the ground rules... (modifiable to be mutually agreed upon)


Not looking for a legally binding agreement, just basic stuff, like, when she refuses to eat or take meds in 12 hour period, we call 911.

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"My mother is being told to move in with us."

By whom? Who is telling your mother that she must move in with you without first obtaining your freely given consent?

This sounds like a terrible idea. Not least because, although ground rules are a good idea in general, you seem to imagine your mother will be capable of comprehending this kind of agreement in a meaningful way. From your description of her I seriously doubt that.
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I agree with the posters who say DON'T MOVE HER IN AT ALL.

Were you also thinking of a payment contract? I hope so, if you insist on going along with having your mother move in with you.

And who told her she had to move in with you?
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Behavior contract is likely a wasted effort. You already know to expect problems and you're likely to have them. What good is this contract?
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You cannot "make" someone do what you want them to. Does she forget because of Dementia to take meds or she just doesn't want to. Her living with you is not going to change things. If anything you are going to get very frustrated.

"Mom is being told to move in with us" Sounds like you are trying to control her. You may find this will be impossible. I would be surprised if she hasn't already bulked at that.

If moving her in is because you think she'll do what u want her to do, ur in for a big surprise. You may want to reconsider ur decision if Mom is competent.
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Who is telling your mom to move into your house?? Do you not have a say in this decision? And how is she punishing you by doing things harmful to her health? My mom or not, I'll be damn if ANYBODY ruins my life because they're selfish, greedy and attention-seeking narcisist who obviously doesnt care or RESPECT you. And I agree, please don't involve the EMT's in your "behavior contract". If I were you, I would drop her and her suitcase off at the nearest( or farthest) nursing home.
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jkcproject, even if you had a behavior contract/agreement it would get tossed out the window after a couple of weeks. What will happen will be the adult/child dynamics where once again your Mom is the adult and you are once again the child, and Mom knows best.

And everything you do around the house won't be right, you will need to start doing things her way.... like folding towels, arranging the kitchen cabinets, the house is too cold, yada, yada, yada.

As for calling 911, please don't use the paramedics time when your Mom is refusing to do things.

Do what nurses do if a patient won't take their meds, the meds get crushed into pudding or ice cream [or whatever your Mom can safely eat since she is a diabetic]. My Mom got to a point when she ate chocolate ice cream without the meds, she didn't like the taste.... with the meds she loved it :)
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