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Oedgar23 Asked August 9, 2025

My mother has passed

I was with her Thursday, and she was the most verbal and clear headed she’d been in weeks. Said my name, thanked me for bringing a stuffed animal, told me to “come sit” when I walked in. This was also still mixed in with a lot of noises and gibberish. Her comfort meds weren’t holding her calm. She’d spit out part of a dose. I spent a couple of hours at the nursing home on Thursday just keeping her in bed till the next round of meds were due.
Hospice saw her mid day Friday and she was calm. Ate 40% of her lunch the nurse fed her. Things seemed stable. I was bracing for weeks or months of this, handling Medicaid spend down, etc.
The facility called me at 330 am and said she had “transitioned.” I said… she passed? And they said yes.Husband and I are here waiting on hospice. Nurse said she’d been sleeping all shift with no meds on board.Im a bit surprised it happened today, but really just feel relief. She and I can both be at peace now.

JuliaH Aug 10, 2025
Take care of yourself now. Her journey here is over but yours continues. I know the feeling of relief and don't feel guilty about the what could I have done better? You did enough and you survived. It all comes down to that you survived a terrible experience that many here have and wish they never had to go through. Blessings

funkygrandma59 Aug 9, 2025
Thank God that you can now get off this crazy rollercoaster that you've been on.
I hope and pray that you will now take time for yourself to heal and grieve.
And yes one can feel relief along with sadness at a loved ones passing, as I'm sure you're now feeling, as that is quite normal when the rollercoaster ride has been a rough one.
But you're going to be ok. I wish you peace in the days, weeks and months ahead.

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BarbBrooklyn Aug 9, 2025
Oedgar, I'm so sorry for your loss. I felt the same sense of relief when MY mom died, and she "just" had vascular dementia, with no behaviors.

I hope that you will stick here with us and share your wisdom.

(((Hugs)))

Slartibartfast Aug 10, 2025
You did a great job under horrifying conditions and now you can recover and heal.

cwillie Aug 9, 2025
I'm sorry for your loss

Suzy23 Aug 9, 2025
It is good that her suffering has come to an end. I can definitely understand that you feel relief. I’m glad you were able to have a relatively good visit with her on Thursday, her saying your name and thanking you. Those will be positive memories. Thanks for updating us. I wish you peace.

Hothouseflower Aug 9, 2025
So sorry for the loss of your mother. Yes both you and she can be at peace now. You were a good daughter to her. Take care of yourself.

MissesJ Aug 9, 2025
How beautiful that you were able to share a nice last day together when she was more present than usual. Please accept my condolences on the loss of your mother.

Daughterof1930 Aug 9, 2025
Peace and blessings to you, such a long, hard road with mom. I’m glad she’s free of earthly pain and the losses of dementia. Wishing you much healing and memories of happier days

ShirleyDot Aug 10, 2025
It does sound like she had some awareness the end was near and I’m glad she had a few kind words for you after all the chaos. She was lucky to have you and I bet some small part of her was trying to acknowledge that. I wish you peace.

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