So if your mom no longer wants your help with writing checks for her and helping her with her check book, then I guess you have no choice but to back off. I hope you do realize though that your moms brain is permanently broken now and that she will say and do things that make no sense. It's heartbreaking to witness for sure. Sounds like your mom was perhaps a narcissist before her dementia, so often the dementia will just magnify these negative traits. And if she wasn't narcissistic prior to her dementia, the dementia itself can make someone more narcissistic. It's just sad all the way around. Hopefully you can figure out what will work best for you and for your mom at this very difficult time.
How are you in the position to write checks? Are you POA for finances? If so then mom has no say in how things are done if the POA is in effect. (If it isn't but should be then that is something that needs to be sorted out) If you are not POA then take the win and step back from the responsibility or managing finances for someone that is spewing anger and vile words.
Let her disown you. Please do not take abuse from this person.
Womb donors are a different breed from true mothers.
When dealing with narcissists, there is no pleasing them. They will find fault with everything you do.
Elderly narcissists get worse with age and are prone to telling lies, accusations and getting you in a whole mess of trouble with them. Just be grateful that you are not tying yourself in with their financials for them to try to sue or have you arrested for theft.
No one deserves bad treatment, even or especially from a family member, or even when dementia is present. If you can’t oversee finances without the venom, bow out and let someone else deal with it
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I hope you do realize though that your moms brain is permanently broken now and that she will say and do things that make no sense. It's heartbreaking to witness for sure.
Sounds like your mom was perhaps a narcissist before her dementia, so often the dementia will just magnify these negative traits. And if she wasn't narcissistic prior to her dementia, the dementia itself can make someone more narcissistic.
It's just sad all the way around. Hopefully you can figure out what will work best for you and for your mom at this very difficult time.
Are you POA for finances?
If so then mom has no say in how things are done if the POA is in effect.
(If it isn't but should be then that is something that needs to be sorted out)
If you are not POA then take the win and step back from the responsibility or managing finances for someone that is spewing anger and vile words.
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Womb donors are a different breed from true mothers.
When dealing with narcissists, there is no pleasing them. They will find fault with everything you do.
Elderly narcissists get worse with age and are prone to telling lies, accusations and getting you in a whole mess of trouble with them. Just be grateful that you are not tying yourself in with their financials for them to try to sue or have you arrested for theft.
These people are toxic to the bone.
I personally would not function with someone because of a genetic accident of childbirth; It's kind of like smashing your head against a wall.