How to accept the inevitable?

My dad had a couple of awful falls with me standing literally right next to him. That’s when I finally understood that I had no control over the inevitabilities of aging. It’s a hard pill to swallow when we love them and want to spare them pain and the indignities. So yes, you might never lose being sad, but be quietly sad, and determine to enjoy the time. Do things together you all enjoy. Make time to listen to the stories you’ve heard a hundred times. Hold his hand. These are the simple things you can do and will not regret. I wish you peace

I am a true believer that when we leave this earth we are in the presence of Jesus! My mama lived with a bad back for 30 years, my daddy lived with ALZ for five. I cared for each of them. The day that each one passed I was devastated, yet relieved. I know that they now live with Jesus and have no pain. I know that I will see them again and they will have a smile on their face and a skip in their walk. I relive the memories our family made together - camping, holidays, family dinners! yes I cry when I think of those things (like right now) but they are happy tears and happy thoughts and happy memories! I would never change they way life happened to me and they way I cared for both of them and where they are now. Blessings to you!

From your profile: "I am a single woman who is providing care to an elderly father (83) with a multiple heart conditions and a mother with severe neuropathy and early dementia." Does your Father have a Advanced Healthcare Directive (aka Living Will, aka 5 Wishes)? I think this will take some of the second-guessing away as you make more and more of his healthcare decisions. Does he have a DNR? If not, why not? This, too, would help both of you. When my 94-yr old Mom (with spinal stenosis, osteoarthritis) is in pain and complaining, I steer the conversation to helping her count her blessings. - that she doesn't have any other awful health problems, like cancer - she still is semi-independent in her own home - she still drives - she lives near her grandsons (and great-grandkids) who adore her and call/visit her etc. Your parents may not have any of the above but at the minimum they have an awesome daughter who cares deeply about them and is giving her all to help. MANY elders don't even have this. Your parents do have blessings to be counted, so think on this with them. Suffering cannot always be prevented but that's what morphine is for -- at least there is this solution, like it or not. Many have not lived as long as our parents. Many have suffered much even before becoming elderly. No one gets out of here alive and we have to accept this reality for everyone. May you gain peace in your heart on this journey!