Being a part of my daddy's CG team when he was EOL with Parkinson's is one of the most precious, spiritual things I have been allowed to experience.
Just sitting by his side, watching RoadRunner cartoons---or him asking me to sing to him for hours on end--talking, reminiscing, whatever HE wanted to do, I did.
The only thing I COULDN'T do for him was to take his pain on myself. All I could provide was love and peace.
Neither of my other sisters ever had the 'time' to do for dad. I'm grateful I made the time.
We were all with him when he passed. Sweet, peaceful and the transition to a place where he no longer felt pain.
I was both honored and a bit traumatized to be with my dad full time during his last couple of weeks of life. He was at home with hospice care. We weren’t big on a lot of words, our family tended to let the actions showed our caring and love. My dad was kept comfortable and was very ready to leave this world. I relied heavily on the wise advise of the very experienced hospice nurses to care for him. I spent a lot of special time just holding his hand and talking about memories. Whatever you do or don’t do in this time won’t alter the outcome, and don’t feel like you have to do or say anything in particular, just be there, rest when needed, and care for you both. I truly wish you both peace in the journey
Like Barb, Heart, I am hoping you have support with you. Is Hospice on board to help you? I myself was able to look on both the "deliverance" of my Mom and Dad as peace, as a relief for each of them, as the end of a life well and happily lived. We had long and often talked of the passage they would eventually travel from me. But I am 81, and I can tell you that they are so "with me" when I need them in my life. May it ever to so for you as well.
Thank you to all of you so much for your kindness and for all taking the time to reply. Your words, of love, kindness and support mean the world and have helped me when it’s such a lonely place. Nobody really understands unless you’re there, or have been through this awful heart break. I hope you’re all ok and keeping strong in all your sadness too and please know if I can help you the same way as you have helped me I will xx some of the replies are so detailed and thoughtful in my direction it takes my breath away xxx your loving and caring has given me strength, perfect advice and comfort more than I can articulate xx thank YOU xxx 💕
Watching or being close especially living with someone that is dying is difficult. You are watching a part of yourself die, Someone that has been with you your entire life and it is hard to realize they will not always be there. Take the time to spend as much time with your dad as you can. If he is able to talk listen to him. Thank him for being the person he is. Hold his hand. Tell him you are going to be alright. Be glad that you have a father that you have good feelings about. If you have read enough posts here you know that many do not have parents that they feel that way about. If dad is on Hospice talk to the Social Worker and or the Chaplain if you feel the need to talk or ask questions. One of the replies I saw on this forum some one mentioned Hospice Nurse Julie. I have seen some of her YouTube videos and her FB posts and she is very straight forward about death and dying and answers a lot of questions. If you like check out some of her videos.
You go about living your life as it's your father that is dying not you. You spend time with him, and tell him what you need/want to say to him before he dies. You leave nothing left unsaid. You bring hospice on board and make sure you're taking advantage of their social worker, clergy and grief counseling. And then you accept that death is part of life and that when your father dies, you will have the rest of your life ahead of you, so please make the most of it. You're going to be ok.
Just sitting by his side, watching RoadRunner cartoons---or him asking me to sing to him for hours on end--talking, reminiscing, whatever HE wanted to do, I did.
The only thing I COULDN'T do for him was to take his pain on myself. All I could provide was love and peace.
Neither of my other sisters ever had the 'time' to do for dad. I'm grateful I made the time.
We were all with him when he passed. Sweet, peaceful and the transition to a place where he no longer felt pain.
I feel his presence near me, often.
You are watching a part of yourself die, Someone that has been with you your entire life and it is hard to realize they will not always be there.
Take the time to spend as much time with your dad as you can.
If he is able to talk listen to him.
Thank him for being the person he is.
Hold his hand.
Tell him you are going to be alright.
Be glad that you have a father that you have good feelings about. If you have read enough posts here you know that many do not have parents that they feel that way about.
If dad is on Hospice talk to the Social Worker and or the Chaplain if you feel the need to talk or ask questions.
One of the replies I saw on this forum some one mentioned Hospice Nurse Julie. I have seen some of her YouTube videos and her FB posts and she is very straight forward about death and dying and answers a lot of questions. If you like check out some of her videos.
You spend time with him, and tell him what you need/want to say to him before he dies. You leave nothing left unsaid.
You bring hospice on board and make sure you're taking advantage of their social worker, clergy and grief counseling.
And then you accept that death is part of life and that when your father dies, you will have the rest of your life ahead of you, so please make the most of it.
You're going to be ok.
It does need a team though, I also hope you have help.
What kind of help do have coming in to assist with dad's care?
Are you talking about coping physically, emotionally?
Do you have hospice on board?
((((Hugs))))