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shalom77 Asked July 10, 2023

How do I stop worrying and stop trying to fix mom with rage?

She is experiencing cognitive issues, pain etc. Old age seems cruel.

BarbBrooklyn Jul 11, 2023
Here is Shalom77's other post:

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/caregiver-wont-seek-help-for-herself-and-has-rage-episodes-we-relieved-her-of-the-caregiving-respons-482443.htm?orderby=recent

It sounds to me as though both of your parents belong in a long term care setting. Can that be arranged?

You (or at least I) worried less once my mom was in a caring facility with 24/7 people on staff who could deal with emergencies.

Countrymouse Jul 11, 2023
Do you mean your mother is somebody's caregiver?

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AlvaDeer Jul 11, 2023
Shalom, so very sorry you are feeling so very burned out by it all. Sounds as though you have no specifics to ask us, and just wanted to express that everything feels like it is piling on right now.

Short of placing an elder whose care is way too much for you on a 24/7 basis (I am a nurse and I never could have attempted such a thing), I don't know what to tell you. Respite has been suggested here, and that might at least let you come up to the surface for air, and to think of what you need to do in the future.

I wish you luck.

againx100 Jul 10, 2023
What is it that you are worrying about?

Old age can certainly be cruel, no doubt. Both to the older person and to the people who care for them.

How old is your mom? You? What are the living arrangements? How long have you been her caregiver?

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