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BrettaB Asked April 2022

What can I do when my husband’s dementia behaviors, verbal abuse, accusations and dangerous lies are more than I can handle?

bundleofjoy Apr 2022
it’s very hard. (1) there’s the issue with what to do with your husband. (2) there’s the issue with your mind, hurt and damaged by abuse.

i hope you find good solutions for (1).

let’s look at (2).
you need to heal. but healing is very hard, while you continue to be hammered with more hurt/abuse. (your husband has dementia: you might be able to tell yourself “it’s the disease”. but there are limits to that approach too, when the abuse is too much).

please find a way to heal. (normally the only way is to not be present; unavailable; not receive the abuse).

sometimes it’s useful to remember oneself as a child (12 years old?). what would 12 year-old you say if she saw you today? probably she would have good advice about how to heal.

hug!!!!

Lovemydoggies Apr 2022
You need to take a break from husband. If you have the financial resources or can qualify for Medicaid, you can place your husband, or send him to Adult Day Care, or take a Respite for 2-4 weeks. Abuse is unacceptable . . .Period . . . Full Stop.

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PeggySue2020 Apr 2022
Put him in a home or demand that the er do it.

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