it’s very hard. (1) there’s the issue with what to do with your husband. (2) there’s the issue with your mind, hurt and damaged by abuse.
i hope you find good solutions for (1).
let’s look at (2). you need to heal. but healing is very hard, while you continue to be hammered with more hurt/abuse. (your husband has dementia: you might be able to tell yourself “it’s the disease”. but there are limits to that approach too, when the abuse is too much).
please find a way to heal. (normally the only way is to not be present; unavailable; not receive the abuse).
sometimes it’s useful to remember oneself as a child (12 years old?). what would 12 year-old you say if she saw you today? probably she would have good advice about how to heal.
You need to take a break from husband. If you have the financial resources or can qualify for Medicaid, you can place your husband, or send him to Adult Day Care, or take a Respite for 2-4 weeks. Abuse is unacceptable . . .Period . . . Full Stop.
i hope you find good solutions for (1).
let’s look at (2).
you need to heal. but healing is very hard, while you continue to be hammered with more hurt/abuse. (your husband has dementia: you might be able to tell yourself “it’s the disease”. but there are limits to that approach too, when the abuse is too much).
please find a way to heal. (normally the only way is to not be present; unavailable; not receive the abuse).
sometimes it’s useful to remember oneself as a child (12 years old?). what would 12 year-old you say if she saw you today? probably she would have good advice about how to heal.
hug!!!!