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VeronicaB Asked October 2021

Mom has vascular dementia, recent decline, now is becoming very picky about food. Particularly when I cook, even if I make favorites. Ideas?

My Mom and Dad recently moved in with me. Dad had a stroke and has cardiac issues so we need to keep a very healthy, low sodium diet. Mom has recently started disliking what I cook. For example, she loves spinach. I make that as part of her dinner. It's the only thing she doesn't eat. She said it didn't taste like spinach. Tonight I made copy cat Cracker Barrell Chicken and dumplings. She loves it - said didn't taste like Cracker Barrell and refused to eat it. If I buy prepared food, she eats it up. She can be manipulative - I am struggling, feeling like she is intentionally rejecting what I cook. Has anyone else experienced something like this? Ideas?

Beatty Oct 2021
Could be a choice and control issue.

Put a few plates on the table & she can help herself. Used to do that with any 'picky' kids or visitors.

Fruit platter, salad veggies & a healthy dip, cold roast potatoes, whatever. Then if dinner isn't eaten, oh well. Least she ate something healthy.

Or Grandma style "there's dinner or bread & water" 😉

againx100 Oct 2021
My mom sometimes wrinkles her nose and says "ooh, I don't like that" type of thing and it makes me want to bang my head against the wall. OK, I do all this work and you can't just eat it??

I think people have mentioned dementia/elderly people not having a great sense of taste anymore so they don't always like the good stuff anymore. Maybe don't tell her too much about what you made so she won't have pre-conceived ideas about what it "should" taste" like? Can she do any cooking? Or your dad? If so, she/he could make what she likes and you make what you want. That might not be feasible, I know.

Nice that your dad is doing better. Does he mostly take care of your mom? Sounds like he could/should be doing a lot. If he isn't, start leaning on him to step it up a bit or you are going to burn out quickly.

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polarbear Oct 2021
What if you went and bought a pack of take out containers, put your food that you cooked in there and passed it off as take-out? Maybe your mom will fall for it.

Second option, when mom refuses to eat, say you’re sorry she doesn’t like the food and stop right there, don’t offer anything else. Just be silent and let it sink in that she has a choice to eat or not to eat, but she’s not getting take-outs. When she’s hungry enough, she’ll eat and amazingly your food will taste good.

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