I have been a full time caretaker, paid to be a part time caretaker, since Feb 2021, but have been caretaking for her since 2018. She has physically abused me twice. Never reported to the police. I called her case worker because I am done taking care of her, I even told the SSI Case Manager that I quit over the phone, and guess what, I am still her caretaker. Not only that, but I reported the abuse. So they call the person I care for and ask her if she is in danger, all the questions, which she responds in a fashion that she is not in any danger, and why should she be when she is the aggressor? I'm the one in danger. The system has failed me. I almost feel like my only options are dwindling down to drastic measures. What do we do when we as caretakers are failed by the system? There is no support... especially since I am man. How can I be abused? How can a handicapped woman abuse a man? Well it happened.
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You are not married to this woman and I thought I read you own the home. Because of COVID I don't know if you can evict yet but thats what your going to need to do to get her out. You need to talk to her caseworker again and tell them that you refuse to care for this woman. Tell them she is not a blood relative, ur not married and any relationship you had with her has died. She needs help that you are no longer able to give her. They need to find her a place to stay and have the help she needs come in or place her in a NH. You will eventually have to evict her and you would like to know that she has a safe place to live and be taken care of. You need to get out of this situation.
If you don't own the home, then call adult protection services and tell them you can no longer care for this person. That you will be leaving on such and such a date and at that time she will be a vulnerable adult. You could probably do something like this if SSI does not help. Call APS and tell them you can no longer be her caregiver and she needs to find another place to live.
It may be hard getting any help as long as COVID is still going on. So ask if she at least can get an aide. Seems to me you no longer are BF and GF, she is just a roommate that you should not be expected to care for.
Or force the sale and you both have to look for another residence.
I suggest you talk to an attorney and find out the best course of action. You may have to legally evict her. This would be done if the house is in your name alone.
Next time she abuses you call the police tell them you are being assaulted, request that she be removed from the property. You might also get a restraining order.
Make it perfectly clear that you will no longer participate in her care. If no one shows up to care for her call APS
If it is a boyfriend/girlfriend issue, leave. You made no vow.
You haven't stated what her handicap is, but let the case manager know that you are going to have to either move or evict her if it is your place. And they will have to find placement for her.
And that isn't drastic. That is self-preservation.