This man has been abusive and created much family grief over the years before abandoning my friend. Now he wants to come "home" because he has lung cancer. My friend doesn't have her own home, but lives with a sister who allowed him to be brought in while medical appointments and hospital visits were coordinated.
This man is still verbally abusive although this kindness was given to him. My friend cannot care for him as she has post polio syndrome and is very frail, in her 70s and could not withstand the hardship, nor is her sister willing to let him stay in her home. The man is currently in the hospital receiving treatment. My friend is beside herself with fear that she will be held responsible for any debt or caregiving responsibility. He simply cannot come back to stay with them. He's been living several states away in a van with is now uninhabitable. What can she do to protect herself from this burden? He is not a veteran and has gone through all his money, though he does receive social security. That's it.
To wherewhere you like.
I won't be picking you up.
You can't come to my place.
Harsh but fair.
If your friend and her sister are letting him stay with them, that's their choice. If they tolerate him being verbally abusive, once again their choice. Neither of them have to do anything for the guy.
If it was me, I wouldn't even have picked him up at the airport.
Your friend has to have NOTHING more to do with this man; not even make phone calls on his behalf, because each thing that she does for him just further cements it in everyone's minds that she is willing to take on responsibility for his care taking. If not for her sake, then for her sister's!
You are right. If the abandoned wife and SIL start asking questions with social workers that's admitting to having taken some responsibility for him. They shouldn't do it. Once social workers and social services get a bit like that between their teeth, they'll use all the tactics available to them to make these people take him back.
They will promise all kinds of help and support which no one ever gets. They will even make threats about them having a legal responsibility to care for him and how they can get in trouble if they don't.
It's all a big crock and these women should not go asking around with social workers.
If I were your friend, I would contact the social worker at the hospital and advise them he can not be discharged to her sister's residence. If they think they will try (as has occasionally occurred) to drop him off, advise them that two calls will be made one to the police depart and the other to the local news station.
Personally, I would have run like a track star the other way and would never have allowed him back but that is me. I don't like getting burned twice.
Don’t answer his calls and don’t open the door.
Straight up narcissist, who needs it?
When it comes to discharging him both your friend and her sister HAVE to say that they can not care for him. He is not their responsibility. If they are asked to pick him they are to refuse.
I hope your friend did not sign any paperwork indicating that she is responsible in any way for this man.
It will be up to the Social Worker to find a facility for him and work on getting Medicaid started if he already does not have Medicaid.
Yas she needs to file for divorce based on abandonment. Might be able to get one of those non profit lawyers to do it for free.
That's right about not letting his mail come to the house. That's counted as residency in most states and they'd have to do an eviction process.