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Jennyb103 Asked September 2021

My Mom with early Dementia lives with two Yorkies that poop and pee all over her house every day and she never cleans it up. What do I do?

Her floors are able to be mopped, but she never cleans up after them. She won't let me install a doggie door. She refuses to walk them. If she picks up a poo with a tissue, she leaves the smear which dries hard to the floor. Thus she has poo in piles, and dried smears and pieces hardened to the floor. To clean it, one must pour hot water and let it set to soften then scrub. She refuses to do this. The dogs poo all over her patio and she won't clean that up either. I have gone over on my hand and knees and worked to clean the mess up several times, but now I refuse. She won't give up the dogs and says she doesn't care if they mess. It is just so smelly and something I cannot ignore when I visit several times a week to help her. What should I do?

JoAnn29 Sep 2021
Its time to remove the dogs. Are you sure that she is even feeding them?

Its also time to make a decision, you need to get Mom "in home" care or place her in an AL if she has the money. Like said, if she isn't caring for the dogs, she is not caring for herself. Dementia is very unpredictable. There is no rhyme or reason to it. You never know what a person suffering from it is going to do next. Mom can no longer be reasoned with. She can no longer comprehend. Her brain is dying little by little.

Geaton777 Sep 2021
Her inability (not refusal) to care properly for the dogs also signals her inability to care for herself. If I were in your situation I'd employ a "therapeutic fib" that the dogs need to be taken in to get required vaccinations, a check-up and some grooming. Then you take them away and prepare them to be re-homed (and they will need a vet's current check-up and updated required vaccinations anyway to do so). Maybe look for a Yorkie rescue group in your area. When she asks why the dogs haven't come home yet you tell her they are being kept for medical observation by the vet. And whatever other story you can tell her to keep her calm and move things along.

Once you have the dog issue under control you can work on other things, like getting durable PoA in place if it isn't already, and figuring out whether she can continue to stay in her home with hired aids (an affordability and management issue), or whether transitioning to AL is a better option for both of you.

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Ricky6 Sep 2021
If you have POA it is time for you to take charge before a neighbor or other third party discovers what you have found, and then the local police or another government agency might be knocking on mom’s door.

MJ1929 Sep 2021
She's not capable of letting them out in time and doesn't care that there are feces everywhere. Does that sound like "early" dementia?

The dogs are being abused, and Mom is living in unsafe circumstances. E-coli is no joke, and I doubt she's properly washing her hands when she does pick up poop with a tissue.

Time for tough love, I'm afraid. The doggies need a new home.

Daughterof1930 Sep 2021
Unless she’s been content to let this go long before the dementia, it seems she’s past the early stages. I doubt a housekeeper being hired would help, many of them won’t clean up unsanitary conditions like this, especially to be met with the same crap (sorry for the bad pun) each time. Do you have POA to be able to make decisions in your mom’s best interests? It may be time for some tough decisions

Isthisrealyreal Sep 2021
Can she afford to hire a housekeeper?

This is really unsanitary and you may have to let it go and call APS in to get any change.

As long as you prop her up she can continue to believe that she is independent and doing fine.

I, personally, feel like the poor little dogs are being abused, they wouldn't live in their own waste if they had a choice, maybe telling her that the dogs will be removed by the authorities will help and a pooper scooper that she doesn't have to bend down and a spray mop, maybe?

Maybe her dementia is further advanced then you realize?

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