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Grace1965 Asked July 2021

Good morning, I know I will probably have to talk with an attorney but I thought I would ask here first. Does anyone know how this works?

My mom is living with me in my home, I am the only child, we have a POA in place (and medical directive) and my name is on her accounts as a payable upon death beneficiary. I am the only child, lost my brother a few years ago at age 46, he was the favorite lol. Suffice it to say my and my mother's relationship is not ideal. She has CHF and dementia but is not too bad at this point. I am planning on trying to keep her at my home until I can't anymore. I am working on having a plan with some memory care facilities so that when it happens I can be semi prepared to place her in a facility. I am currently just starting the research process. My question is this. She gets a pension from my dad of about $3500 a month and has a decent amount of investments. When the time comes will the nursing home/facility require her/me to sign over all of her assets? Or will I be able to just have them pull the monthly fee out of her account keeping it in her/my name? Can anyone tell me how this works? Is it a state specific thing?


thanks in advance,
Grace

JoAnn29 Jul 2021
You cannot set up with a care facility way in advance. They don't hold rooms. Facilities are businesses. An empty bed means loss of profit. When a room is empty, an employee is calling all over to rehabs and hospitals telling them there is a room available. You can look around and take tours and pick one you like but they cannot guarantee a bed when your ready to place Mom. It may work better for them to call you when a bed is ready. Paying privately will get her in the door quickly.

No, do not allow any facility access to Moms accounts. You can write a check every month. Keep her money separate from yours. Do not co-mingle funds. Medicaid will consider any accts with Moms name on it her money. You would have to prove differently. Do not pull any large amounts out without proper back up and it has to be used on her. You cannot be paid or take rent at this time because Mom is not competent to make a contract. Unless your POA stipulates you can be paid, you can't be. Selling of her Condo needs to be done at Market Value if Medicaid maybe applied for within the next 5 years. The proceeds need to be put in an acct with her name on it.

I don't see where to place her in a facility you will need a lawyer. I do see where u will need a lawyer if she needs to be placed on Medicaid because her monthly income of $3500 is probably going to put her over the cap allowed. In my state that cap is a little over $2300. That would make Mom $1200 over the cap. To get around this, a lawyer would set up a Miller Trust where the $1200 would be placed. This money reverts back to Medicaid upon Moms passing. You should check with a lawyer to see if your State allows such trusts.

When I was planning on putting Mom in respite care to attend an out of State wedding, I found the AL was having a 50% off sale, for life, to knew residents. I took that opportunity to place my Mom.

AnnReid Jul 2021
I did private pay for the5 1/2 years my mother was in residential care, and at the time, I think the Medicaid “look back” was less that 5 years, at least in the state where we are living.

I SHOULD have put more of “her” money i to an account in my name earlier on in her care, because I would DEFINITELY have used it all for her (because it WAS HERS), but would have had a little more control and might have benefitted somewhat from the interest.

I don’t see any mention of your reasoning on your part for keeping your mother in your home, and you seem to have a pretty good idea about placing her, so I don’t understand why you’re not moving ahead with that goal now, while YOU are young enough to enjoy a life of more freedom.

Since it seems that neither of you are not overly fond of the other’s company, she would also have the advantage of a potentially more pleasant life in a good Assisted Living facility.

Balance. It sounds from your comments as though the balance at present is more in her favor than yours. Is that fair?

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BarbBrooklyn Jul 2021
Grace; I missed the fact that your mom is living in YOUR home. You can legitimately charge your mom "rent", but again, this should be set up by the lawyer.

Find out if MC in your state can be paid for by a Medicaid Waiver after a certain number of years of "private pay".

BarbBrooklyn Jul 2021
Does your POA allow you to pay mom's bills? If yes, then you pay her MC facility charges the same way that you pay her other bills.

I would not have them pull money out mom's accounts; I would put the bills on auto pay. If you have direct deposit from pension and SS, you will figure out how much mom needs to draw from her investments accounts (and in what order) to cover that bill each month.

You should also find out, up front, what percentage of the Memory Care charges are tax deductible as medical expenses. When my mom was in a NH, she was able to deduct most of the 10K per month from her taxes, thus reducing the overall cost by quite a bit.

Don't forget that if any of the money is coming out of a tax deferred account (401K, IRA, 403b or 457) you need to have taxes withheld or pay estimated taxes quarterly.

You might consider asking the Eldercare attorney about paying yourself a wage for caregiving. You don't want to end up jobless, homeless and broke when mom passes (if caregiving means that you are unable to be employed).
Grace1965 Jul 2021
thank you Barb I believe POA is extensive I used it to do the closing for her on her condo. thank you so much for your detailed response!

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